That time of the month, Aunt flo, PMS. No matter what the name, men we need to put the exclamation point on the period. Kate wrote to wives about this recently in her post, “That” time of the month, and I wanted to follow-up with a post to husbands about periods.
I know that sounds strange but hear me out. Guys, for way too long we have looked at our wife’s cycle as something to dread or be avoided. The problem with this perspective is that it is robbing us of an opportunity to grow our marriages in 3 really amazing ways.
1. We miss the chance to step up and care
Let’s face it wives are great at caring for us. They put up with our man colds, and deal with all the millions of issues that comes with having kids. I know that my wife spends a great part of her day caring for other people. When her monthly cycle does come along and as she puts it, “just feels out of sorts” the least that I can do is recognize it and do my best to care for her.
Is that always easy? No, but we can try rather than simply retreating to our man caves and hiding for the next 3-4 days. Step up and see what you can do to take some of the load off her. Let her lie down for a little while. Handle dinner one of those days. Do something to show your wife that you care.
2. We miss the “good” part of the cycle
Unless we understand the monthly cycle that begins with “that time of the month”, we will miss the very positive UP swing that occurs a few weeks later. It is a well researched fact that women’s sexual arousal increases about 2 weeks to 16 days after the start of her cycle. This is the period where her body is ovulating, or just about to and her hormones are telling her that now is a wonderful time for sex. For most husbands, this is a time of the month you don’t want to overlook.
Because not all women are the same, you will need to really communicate with your wife to better understand her cycle. This is worth it! Trust me.
3. Men-We have it too!
Ok, so we don’t get the visit from aunt flo, but our wife’s cycle is all about hormone levels as they fluctuate in a (normally) 28 day cycle. Men, this might come as a surprise to you, but your hormone levels fluctuate in a monthly cycle too. You just don’t have any external indicators to show when your high and low points are.
You too will have days when you are just feeling lousy. You will have days when you feel blah. If you find a better way to care for your wife when she says, “I feel crazy and it isn’t you”; then she will likely do the same thing for you!
So guys, if we are going to lift the veil from the period and really help our wives, we must learn how to talk about it. This is a great place to start. Do you have questions? Do you wonder how this could work in your marriage? Leave a comment and I’ll do my best to answer. If I get stumped, I’ll get Kate to come in and answer too.