Brad says…
We know from looking at some of our reader statistics that 80% of the people who admit to reading our blog are women. (We have a sneaking suspicion there are quite a few men out there reading it, but they don’t want anyone to know, so they don’t join the Facebook page). Some of those women have written to tell us they are finding the information helpful, but they simply cannot get their husbands to read it. Well today’s post is going to change all of that! Women, if your husbands won’t read anything about marriage, trust me they will read this, so go ahead. Show it to them IF YOU DARE.
Christian Sex
Most people would probably agree that Christians have a reputation of being rather prudish when it comes to sex. Why is that? We serve the God who created sex, we read the Bible, a book that is filled with it, and yet we still are seen as prudish. I think it has something to do with the fact that the only message the world sees Christian’s communicating about sex is, “don’t do it!” Now I’ll agree there are lots of great reasons to listen to that message, but why do we stop there? How often have you heard anyone teaching married Christians to go out and have tons of passionate, loving sex? Why don’t we hear that coming from the pulpit? I mean sex is an awesome gift that we have been given as long as we follow the directions, in marriage! Why aren’t we using that gift? How often do you typically have sex?
- Twice a month?
- Maybe once a week?
- Twice a week?
Starting November 1st 2010 we are challenging you to turn up the heat in your marriage! We are daring all of our readers to join us in a 10-day challenge of intimacy. November 1st through November 10th we are challenging you to have sex every day!
I know after that last sentence the guys have stopped reading, have already agreed, and run off to the calendar to see how long they have to wait till November 1st. So wives, you are most likely the only ones still reading and you are probably thinking 2 things: ”Why would we do that?” and, “Is that even possible for us to do?”
Here are 10 great reasons why you should take the 10 day intimacy challenge:
- Prove that you can!
- Have fun, lots and lots of fun.
- Make time to be alone together for 10 straight days!
- Start your brain thinking about physical intimacy in a way you haven’t before.
- Create an opportunity for you to bring some variety in the bedroom. (Heck maybe not in the bedroom that could be part of the variety too!)
- Teach yourself and your spouse how to push through the “I don’t really feel like it tonight” wall.
- Re-calibrate what the normal frequency of love-making is in your marriage.
- Give encouragement about potential changes to a spouse who doesn’t read this blog yet. Start here maybe they will be interested to see what is next.
- You will have lots and lots of fun, I know I’m repeating, but it’s worth repeating. and most importantly
- In God’s design of a One Flesh marriage all intimacy is connected: physical, spiritual, and emotional. Turn up the heat in one area and see what happens to the others!
As for what’s possible, let me assure you 10 days is possible! Kate and I have gone through many different phases in our sex life and a while back we were a “once or twice a week” couple. Then we read an article about a pastor challenging his congregation to a 30 Day sex challenge. We tried it, I’ll be honest we didn’t make it all 30 days, but that was before we reached this point in our marriage. Now? Well let’s just say, 10 days, ya, it’s possible!
Day one of One Flesh Marriage’s first official 10- Day Sex Challenge is only a week away. Are you willing to take The Challenge?
If so tell us in the comments! You can remain anonymous if you wish but let us know you are up for the challenge!
Update:
The 10-Day Challenge has become One Flesh Marriage’s most popular post. To see a viewer ranking of other popular posts visit the Top-Ten Post’s page.
To read the whole series of 10-Day Challenge posts including preparation tips, encouraging words, and other posts check out the 10-Day Challenge page.
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Challenge Accepted!!
I wanted to expand on my comment above…
Your blog has come into my life at the right time. My wife told me about it a few weeks ago and I have been checking for new post everyday, and I have enjoyed each new post. Reading about your experiences and your thoughts has opened my eyes to some things that I need to improve as a husband. Most importantly I now realize that we need to make time to spend together, not just in front of the TV, but actually together so we can talke and work on our marriage.
Thank you for the time you put into this and my wife and I are going to do our best to accept the challenge.
Anonymous,
We can't tell you how excited your comment made both of us! You spoke to the exact reasons why Kate and I decided to start this blog and put ourselves "out there" in the first place! I hope that you and your wife enjoy the challenge and the time together you will have! I can’t wait to hear how it goes for you! I love your honesty that it will even be a challenge for you! I think any guys who do accept the challenge will be surprised to find it will be just that "a challenge"! Just remember it is about the journey not finishing the race!
Blessings,
Brad
Hi guys, my wife and I just got done reading your challenge. It comes at a time where God has been pointing out to us where sex avoidance on my part has been causing marital problems. So we believe your challenge is God speaking to us through you as the next right thing that we can do for our relationship. We have agreed as well to add to the challenge of daily family prayer, once a week family activity, and chalenging our kids to avoid video games for the ten days to get closer as a family. We hope that God will help us learn new things about ourselves as a family as well as a couple. Thanks guys for the challenge!!!
I would have to pose the question, what do u codsiner 2 b intimacy? i believe that many people have opinions but know not of which they speak!!! think about it, what made u feel as though intimacy was lacking, was it u were not getting the amount of intimacy u wanted or was it that intimacy was completely missing? Intimacy can b a snuggle or sex or oral or possibly just foreplay. what u constitute 2 b intimacy n a sense could not b along the same lines that someone else may envision. either way, i believe the door swings both ways. so, if u feel as though u r not getting enuff then perhaps a discussion is @ hand 2 determine where things r falling short. it could b that someone has a personal issue w/their self image and sexuality, ex: gaining weight and not feeling as sexy, having job issues/stress and not feeling it or maybe there is a real underlying issue. i would say, however, that if there is a real underlying issue beyond self perception and job or familial issues, then there is a real sit down talking that needs 2 happen and some real solutions that need 2 b brought forth. either way, i don’t believe that it just happens overnight! b mindful, just cuz u c someone as sexy or u feel as though they shouldn’t b stressed about certain things doesn’t mean they feel the same way. talk it out and actually listen 2 each other and not just feel like u got sumthin off your chest and elect 2 chalk it up as well i told them! n hopes they understand and have no determining factor on their end which also may n turn b blocking an intimate side they r yearning 2 unleash!!!!
We're going for it!
i am all for it however i know my husband won't. he tells me he is too tired. what do i do or say to that?
Hi and thanks for writing! One of the things I would think about . . . is there a better time for the two you to be intimate! If nights does not work, when can you find time for each other! Brad and I personally prefer variety, although with small kids, nights tends to be when we find the time, but we love finding other times!
I had a similar question on "10 Amazing Nights, or Days, or Afternoon's"! Be sure to read my responce there as it goes into more detail!
There is hope in God's plan for marriage! Know that! I will be praying for you!
In His Grip! Kate
Just saw a link to your blog a couple of days ago on "The Generous Husband" website. I linked over to see what it was all about and then showed it to my wife. We're all in. Day one's "Amazing Night" will begin shortly!
We are so excited for all of you who are joining us on this journey! Know that we are praying for you as you journey towards intimacy with your spouse! Continue to check out the blog as we journey together and seek God's word for his example of biblical intimacy!
Brad and Kate
i am all for it however i know my husband won't. he tells me he is too tired. what do i do or say to that?
I wanted to expand on my comment above…
Your blog has come into my life at the right time. My wife told me about it a few weeks ago and I have been checking for new post everyday, and I have enjoyed each new post. Reading about your experiences and your thoughts has opened my eyes to some things that I need to improve as a husband. Most importantly I now realize that we need to make time to spend together, not just in front of the TV, but actually together so we can talke and work on our marriage.
Thank you for the time you put into this and my wife and I are going to do our best to accept the challenge.
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