Today we welcome the first blogger in our new series 5 Bloggers 5 Questions – Finding the Sexual Intimacy You’ve Always Wanted. We are really excited to be able to share with all of you the thoughts and insights from some awesome Christian marriage bloggers! If you want to start at the beginning check out, “The Sexual Intimacy You’ve Always Wanted”
To get us going into this great topic we have Julie from Intimacy in Marriage. Julie has been encouraging Christian women for several years. Her passion is to lead Christian women towards a healthy sexual intimacy with loads of great information inspired by God’s design for intimacy in marriage! We absolutely recommend it!
Don’t forget to check out the giveaway link at the end of the post for a chance to win some awesome prizes!!!
Question 1. Is there a difference between sex and sexual intimacy?
Depends on the couple. For some people, the word “sex” has negative connotations for them — like in marriages where one spouse feels their value is based on how sexually available they are. Sometimes I’ll hear wives in particular say things like, “He’s only nice to me when he wants sex.” In this case, sex becomes a matter of going through the motions. Her tone tells me that it is not a positive encounter, but merely one out of obligation. Sexual intimacy, on the other hand, usually implies something that is beyond a physical connection — that there is authentic emotional and spiritual oneness happening as well. Rarely will you hear someone use the words “sexual intimacy” to describe something negative. All that being said, in marriages where sex is nurtured and both the husband and wife really value it, then it doesn’t matter what it is called. My husband and I have had some absolutely off-the-charts sex! Seriously. Off the charts. And it was intimate on every level you can imagine.
Question 2. What are the main things that keep married couples from having better sexual intimacy?
Question 3. How does a relationship with Jesus effect sexual intimacy?
I think when we have a personal relationship with Christ, we begin to better grasp the depth of the covenant relationship that marriage is. God speaks of marriage like no other human relationship. When we view marriage as sacred — and all that goes with it, including sex — then certainly we have desire to protect something so precious. There are many spiritual things going on when two people make love (which is one vital reason why God wants sex kept within the boundaries of marriage). Married Christians who struggle with sexual intimacy sooner or later have to reconcile with the truth of God’s word… That He never meant for sex to be optional for married couples, but rather something savored and protected.
Question 4. How do you encourage couples to develop sexual intimacy in their marriage?
My mantra continues on this communication factor. The more comfortable a couple can become in talking about their sexual intimacy — not only what they enjoy about it but also addressing the struggles that emerge — then the more likely it is that sex will be sacred ground for them. They will go out of their way to make sure they protect that time together and guard it from so many things that want to sabotage it. On a spiritual level, I also tell couples that one of the best things they can do for their marriage is to nurture their sexual intimacy. Satan knows that a couple that has great sex is a force to be reckoned with. Couples who want to experience all marriage can be and want it to remain on strong footing will intentionally make time for sexual intimacy.
Question 5. What is the mission of your blog/website/ministry? Tell us a little about yourself…
Well, sex was a mess in my first marriage. So, I write and speak out of my own journey (which I think always resonates with people more than lofty religiosity). Honestly, I don’t think people want to hear from someone who gives the impression they have it all figured out. They want a real person. I write and speak about sex because I headed into a second marriage with a much better understanding of the sacred gift it is. My site is geared more toward Christian wives, but I hear from quite a few husbands as well. People are relieved to have a Christian talk about sex in a way that really gets at the heart of what’s going on behind closed doors — and I try to speak hope into those places. And I happen to like sex a lot, so if I can encourage people to enjoy the gift it is, then I’m all about that. On a purely physical level, I still am awe of God’s design of orgasm. Kudos to the Creator for coming up with something so indescribable.
And here’s a post that tells more about me:
Thank you Julie for participating in the OFM 5 Questions 5 Bloggers series! Please check out this great resource:
for the chance to win some awesome intimacy prizes!!!
and keep checking back all week for the rest of our 5 Bloggers 5 Questions series!