Being One Flesh On Your Knees

Brad says…

Prayer is a conversation with our father.  It is our connection.  As a history buff I have often thought about how difficult it would have been to have a strong relationship with another person when the only option was writing letters. But if we don’t pray, that is all the relationship we have with our abba father.  

In my relationship with our father I have discovered three different types of prayer.  All are important and happen at different times and ways.

Prayers of desperation

These in the moment, lifting up prayers about immediate issues, questions, or problems seeking God’s guiding hand. This is something that I have been in the habit of for a long time, and how I pray most frequently. More often then not, I simply ask “Lord, I have no idea what to say or do, give me direction”.

Prayers of conversation

These are longer, more in depth prayers where both talking and more importantly listening happens.  For me I periodically will take a pen and journal, disappear to somewhere quite and listen, lifting up my thoughts, plans, concerns and weakness and listening for God’s whispers in response.

Prayers of everyday

These are the prayers for the every day things that go on all the time, for the lives of your family, the daily conversation about what is going on with God.  And these prayers are my weakness, and my new challenge.

My difficulty has always been remembering to do it, and when I do remember maintaining focus enough to follow through on a list of people and things that I want to pray for.  As a consequence I feel that I don’t pray for my wife as I should, as I have been called to do.

If this is sounding familiar I would encourage and challenge you to join me in a week of daily prayer for your wife.  In order to get around the obstacles of remembering and focus I would encourage you to spend a few minutes each day praying the way that Jesus taught us, only modified with specific aspects of your wife in mind.

Our Father, in heaven, holy is your name.

  • Pray for her spirit of worship today

Your will be done, in earth as it is in heaven.

  • Pray for her to hear the whisper of God’s voice,
  • To know His will in all that she is doing.
  • Pray for her to find the strength to carry out His will today.

Give us this day our daily bread.

  • Pray for God to provide her the resources she needs today.
  • For the Lord to provide her abundant time to achieve all that she has to do.
  • Strength to overcome obstacles, and help meeting all the needs of you and your family.

And forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

  • Help me to have a spirit of forgiveness towards my wife.
  • Search my spirit and show me any areas I need to forgive my wife.
  • Help her as she goes through her day today to walk in a spirit of peace and forgiveness.
  • Help her to fully know and understand that she is forgiven, and to see herself as you see her.

And lead us not into temptation,

  • Guard her mind and actions today
  • Pray for any areas where your wife may struggle

Deliver us from evil.

  • Protect her from the flaming arrows of the evil one.
  • Protect her from danger.
  • Pray for blessing over her.

For yours is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, for ever and ever.

  •  Help her to have a special Kingdom mindset today.
  • Help her to lean not on her own power, but to depend on You in everything she is doing today.
  • Help her to give You the glory in all that she does.

Of course feel free to add specifics for your wife as God leads you in each of the areas. Using this technique should help with remembering and with focus. If you need to add it to your calendar go ahead!  A scheduled prayer is still taking time with God to lift up your special beloved.

I hope that you will join me in a week of daily prayer for your wife. I am excited to see how God will bless the simple act of taking time to life up my one flesh beloved everyday.

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9 Responses to Being One Flesh On Your Knees

  1. This is a great guide for how to pray for our wives. I have been thinking lately how a separation leading to divorce changes love in a marriage. I was wondering if my love has finally been reduced to memories of love. Then this thought came on strong, I am actively loving my wife by praying for her throughout the day.
    On June 20th, barring God's intervention, my wive's divorce will be finalized. God has my attention and has taught me many valuable lessons in the past 7 months. The constant through this all, is coming to a very caring and faithful God, and realizing when all else seems lost, God is always present and lovingly helping us through the pain. Whatever may come, God is the primary focus and keeping this realization is foremost in my heart and mind.
    God bless you Brad and Kate and thank you for your prayers, lessons, example and support!

  2. What incredible timing!! I've been struggling with the level of intimacy between my wife & I. Sometime back, I came across the phrase – "Into me you see" (sayitfast) I thought we needed more physical intimacy. I was frustrated when I found a challenge to have intimacy for 7 days straight. In the midst of praying about my frustrations, this post arrived. What an answer to parayer!

    I accept this challenge. In my journal, I'm listing 7 things that will happen –

  3.  OOoops – hit the wrong button or something… Back to 7 things –

    1) I'll invite God's presence into our marriage in a new way.
    2) I'll gain a view of my wife as GOD SEES HER as never before.
    3) I'll gain a new understanding of "Into me you see" ( true intimacy)
    4) I'll gain a new perspective and power in praying for others.
    5) She has always prayed for me. So much of the change that has happened in me has been a result of her prayer for me. But I have never prayed for her like I need to.
    6) I see that much of my desire for her 'betterment' – even in my prayers for her – has been rooted in selfishness. "I want her better so I will benefit". (Ouch)
    7) I expect to discover new ways of Love and Intimacy between us.

    LORD, Show me, teach me new ways I can be part of your blessings upon her life!!

  4. Jim,
    What a simply awesome list! I am thrilled that you were able to commit to a new level of prayer for your wife! I know that God will honor that commitment and you will see these 7 things and even more happen before your eyes. As you draw closer in intimacy with your savior, you will see the intimacy in your marriage grow as well!
    Enjoy your time praying for her! I know I have enjoyed praying for Kate!
    God Bless!

  5. sdnelson, It is easy to hear the grief you are experiencing over the loss.  Keep praying for her and for God's will to be done in both of your lives.  God will open the doors for you that need to be open, and will close the ones that need closed.   Just pray for the ability to know the difference so you can keep moving through open doors with joy and stop banging your head against closed ones!  

  6. Hi Brad,
    Thank-you for your kind words. I am a bit thick-headed and a slow learner, so do you have examples of "closed doors" I may be banging my head against? God has impressed on me that any change of heart on my wife's part and any turn around in our situation will be His doing. I am very limited in what I can do, and pray for opportunities to demonstrate love for my wife. The hardest part is to do nothing! I don't believe it is God's Will for Christians to divorce, either I am wrong about that or God's Will is not being done.

  7. Stan,
    I wish I could give you specifics, but only God can really do that. Keep asking, and make sure you find time to listen for an answer. Maybe check out "Power of a Whisper" by Bill Hybells. It's a good book about making time to hear the whispers of God.

  8. Oh my
    I love I love
    Will be trying same out from now on. Every week not just for one week
    God bless you
    And your home
    From Nigeria