5 Senses of Sex

Kate says . . .

We all learn in elementary school that there are 5 senses.  Smell, touch, taste, hearing, and vision.  We also learn pretty early in our life, that men are abundantly blessed with the visual sense where sexuality is concerned.  They are very sexually stimulated by what they see.  God designed them this way for His purposes within marriage.  But while our hubby’s visual sense may be more heightened then ours, they still have 4 other senses.  Sences that we should not neglect during sex and intimacy.

It is a gift and a blessing to be able to arouse your hubby using his other senses as well as visual.  So what are the ways we can use all five senses to bless your hubby as well as drive him wild?

Smell

While the obvious is making sure that you don’t smell bad, there is much more to smell then that.  Your hubby may love it when you wear a certain perfume or scent. Perhaps he loves the way your hair smells when you use a certain hair product. Perhaps he loves the scent your soap or body wash leaves. Be sure to take notice of when he mentions these things, then you can make sure that you keep those products handy.  We also become accustom to our hubby’s smell in general as they become accustom to ours.  When you hubby takes you in his arms and loves on you, what do you smell?  When you are picking up your hubby’s laundry and catch a whiff of his scent.  All of these things trigger thoughts in your brain, thoughts of your hubby.  They can lead to sexual thoughts as well.  Be creative and use your hubby’s sense of smell to stimulate him.  Spray a bit of your perfume on the sheets before you two head to bed.  Spray a bit on yourself (in one spot) and encourage your hubby to find that spot (Generous Wife tip).  If your hubby loves the way you smell and I bet he does, use that to stimulate him to think about you all day long, until you can share intimate time together.

Song of Solomon 4:13-14, “Your thighs shelter a paradise of pomegranates with rare spices-henna with nard (a scented oil that comes from a flowering plant), nard and saffron, fragrant calamus and cinnamon, with all the trees of frankincense, myrrh, and aloes, and every lovely spice.” (NLT)

Hearing

What our hubby’s hear from us has the power to be very stimulating.  Everyone enjoys hearing how much they are loved and adored.  Our hubby’s also love hearing how sexy they are, how much we enjoy their body, how much we enjoy sex, etc.  Sharing with your hubby what you think of him through words before sex, during sex and in everyday life can be very stimulating.  Some possible ideas are:  calling him on the phone at work and reminding him of what you plan to do to him later or expressing how much what you shared before he went to work, rocked your world.  When your hubby comes home from work, have a coded conversation (if your kids are still young) about your intentions for later.  During your time alone, whisper in your hubby’s ear what you find most attractive about him.  Whisper what your plans for this particular intimate time are.  Whispering is very powerful intimate tool because it encompasses two senses, hearing and touch (feeling your breath).  We can also stimulate our hubby’s through sounds of pleasure.  During foreplay and sex, expressing your pleasure through sounds is very exciting to your hubby and encourages him that he is doing good!  Use what your hubby hears to feed his desire for you.

Song of Solomon 2: 14 “My dove is hiding behind the rocks, behind an outcrop on the cliff.  Let me see your face; let me hear your voice.  For your voice is pleasant, and your face is lovely.” (NLT)

Taste

Using our natural love of food and combining it with your love and desire for your hubby can make for a very stimulating recipe.  Some possible recipes are:  Using fruits and sweets in your bedroom as foreplay can be very tasty and fun.  Sharing a picnic lunch at your favorite quiet outdoor location for a little foreplay before you head back home into the sanctuary of your own bedroom.  If you are lucky enough to own your own secluded (secluded: no possibility of anyone showing up) outdoor haven, then perhaps stay outside for the whole stimulating romantic interlude.  Try using food and your hubby’s taste buds to tantalize him!

Song of Solomon 4: 11 “Your lips are as sweet as nectar, my bride.  Honey and milk on your tongue,” (NLT)

Touch

The power of touch is usually second in line after visual stimulation.  But the power of touch is so much broader then it is given credit for.  In my opinion touch is one of the most intimate blessings God has given us as one flesh.  Once we are married, we are allowed to touch our hubby’s everywhere.  We are also more free to touch them in public, obviously in appropriate ways.  The freedom to touch is usually very contagious and overwhelming in the beginning of your marriage, but then seems to quickly become old hat.  No time to hold hands with your hubby, when you have little ones a foot.  While life does grow and change, we can continue to use touch as a way of connection and stimulation.  Touch can be as soft as a feather or firm like when giving your hubby a massage.  Both can be equally stimulating.  You can use lotions or oils (Coconut Oil is the BEST) to add a different feel to your touch.  This week mentally take note of how often you touch your hubby and how often he touches you.  Start to see opportunities to touch him all through your time together.  Also spend some time using different types of touch to stimulate your hubby before and during sex.  Don’t get stuck in the usual touch you “know” will work, instead try something new.  Touch is so powerful, use that God given power to bless your hubby abundantly.

Song of Solomon 6:3 “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mind,” (ASV)

Visual

Even though we know this to be an obvious stimulator of our hubby’s before and during sex, we can start to think about visual in different ways.  It is easy to think, “Ok my hubby is stimulated by my body, so I will just bare it all and that will get things started!”  You are very right and it will most likely work, but perhaps try a new tactic: pick out a new piece of lingerie, that accents your figure, hugging all the rights spots; wear an outfit during the day that is very flattering; when home wear a shirt that shows just enough for your hubby to get a glimpse; slowly strip for your husband (not sure how, check out the Marriage Bed’s recommendation) or play the ever popular game of strip poker.  Complete view of you is always going to be stimulating to your hubby, but your hubby will also love it when you slowly show him those visuals.  Painting your fingernails and toenails as well as doing your hair in a way your hubby likes it are always great ways to visually stimulate your hubby. Taking time to care for the little things can be like adding the cherry on top of the already yummy ice cream sundae.

Song of Solomon 4:1-7 “You are beautiful, my darling, beautiful beyond words. Your eyes are like doves behind your veil. Your hair falls in waves, like a flock of goats winding down the slopes of Gilead. Your teeth are as white as sheep, recently shorn and freshly washed. Your smile is flawless, each tooth matched with its twin.Your lips are like scarlet ribbon; your mouth is inviting. Your cheeks are like rosy pomegranates behind your veil. Your neck is as beautiful as the tower of David, jeweled with the shields of a thousand heroes. Your breasts are like two fawns, twin fawns of a gazelle grazing among the lilies. Before the dawn breezes blow and the night shadows flee, I will hurry to the mountain of myrrh
and to the hill of frankincense. You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way.” (NLT)

God has gifted us with these incredible senses and we can use them to bless our hubby’s!  We can stimulate them in all ways that lead to incredible intimacy as one flesh.  Remember that foreplay often begins a long time before you enter the bedroom.  Are there ways you can incorporate all of the senses when stimulating your hubby?  I would challenge you to do just that.  I know that using the five senses with put a big smile on your hubby’s face and lead you both down a beautiful and fun path to sex.

4 Responses to 5 Senses of Sex
  1. [...] for things to say, but when trying to come up with a husband’s reply to Kate’s “5 Senses of Sex” I’m tongue-tied. I considered writing about the ways husbands can be seductive by [...]

  2. Happy Hour | The Romantic Vineyard
    October 14, 2011 | 5:01 pm

    [...] The 5 Senses of Sex – written by Kate for the wives.  This well written post is chocked full of great ideas you may not have considered in seducing your husband. [...]

  3. SM
    October 26, 2011 | 11:08 am

    Good article. 

    I suspect it is not helpful to perpetuate the unproven notion that men are “more visual than women”.  Though research exists that suggest males and females process images differently, marriage blogs and pop psych authors continue to put forth the idea that males are “more visual”  but never qualify the statement with reputable scientific data.  It’s been repeated enough now that people assume it must be true just like the myth “women speak more words than men do” and depending on who is saying it, the ratio changes.  Again, no scientific data to support it, but research exists refuting it.  .

    • Brad & Kate Aldrich
      October 26, 2011 | 12:01 pm

      SM,
      Thank you for your reply! Research into the male and female brain’s response to sexual stimuli is still a relatively new field of study. Observational and correlation research does seem to indicated that men have increased sexual arousal response to visual stimuli while women have increase sexual arousal to emotional stimuli. In addition to this correlation research, if we can learn anything from the evil world of pornography we will see that the economic indicators follow this observational research.

      I know that none of this is exactly hard science, however, there has been some research to indicated that these responses are also correlated to brain stimulation using functional MRI scans. Scans of male and female brains see increase activity in male amygdala and hypothalamus regions when viewing the same stimuli. Here is one example of this research.

      I completely agree with your tenet that bloggers need to be careful about what stats and facts we throw around as truth! Kate and I try to be very careful with this, and while we don’t always quote the hard data, it is something that we keep in mind.

      I also completely agree with your asserting that the myth about women speaking more words then men has been debunked. I don’t think you will find any of our blogs supporting that myth!

      Thanks again for your comments and keeping us in check!
      God Bless,
      Brad

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