We hope that all of you are having a blessed Christmas season! In order to help us focus our time on our marriage and family we have decided to end the year with a recap of our top 10 favorite posts of 2011. If you didn’t see them the first time around this will be a great way to catch up on some of our older posts! Check back every day to find out which ones made our list! And don’t worry we’ll be back first thing in 2012 with brand new One Flesh Marriage tips!
Brad says… (originally posted October 1, 2011)
“She’s got you on a short leash”, “The old ball and chain”, “You are whipped”. I’ve heard friends making all of these comments and I have started to wonder why is it that men feel it is appropriate to degrade their wife and their marriage anytime they are in a group of other men. I recently had an acquaintance tell me about the man cave they were building in their basement so that he could, “get some time away from the nag.” This was coming from a man who was trying to improve his marriage, but thought nothing of degrading her as soon as she wasn’t listening.
Kate’s post, “What Were You Thinking?” got me thinking about how all of us speak to one another. Kate addressed an important area of consideration, how we talk to others in front of our spouse. Today I want to challenge husbands to consider how they talk about their wife and their marriage to their friends.
For some reason our culture defines a real man as an independent, answer to no one, without responsibility kind of guy. Apparently these “men” are free to play, drink, speak and act in whatever way is appropriate at the time. If at any time another “man” feels that someone is not displaying these ideal qualities then they joke that they are going to revoke the “man card” of the offender.
I have never fit into this rank of “man”. I am just not that kind of guy. I could learn quantum physics before I could learn to enjoy watching NBA basketball. I tried to force baseball stats into my head, but for every ERA I learned I forgot a digit in my phone number. No matter what I tried, I just didn’t fit into this standard of “manly”. It wasn’t until long after I was married that I recognized that I didn’t even like the kind of guys that I was trying to fit in with. There is nothing wrong with sports guys, and I do sometime look longingly at that strong male bonding that occurs while tailgating, but sometimes it is in this environment that all the worst things about men seem to overpower the real man that God designed.
A Real Man Card
As I have grown, I have learned that a real man is the one who makes the hard choices, they don’t go with the crowd they lead the crowd. As I learned that, I recognized that becoming a real man is exactly the man I want to be. I would like to propose 8 steps to earning a real man card.
- A real man tells his wife he loves her, daily
- A real man tells his friends that he loves his wife
- A real man prioritizes time with his wife above time with his crew
- A real man’s man cave is the place he escapes to have time alone with his wife, not escapes to be alone.
- A real man challenges a friend who says he’s whipped, by saying “I married her, it’s called commitment not commandment”
- A real man puts his family time above his TV schedule
- A real man flirts with his wife, not flirts with the waitress.
- A real man decides to show love to his wife and family even when it doesn’t come easy.
Men – Have you earned your real man card? If not which step is causing you to stumble?
Women- Are there any other requirements you would add? What do you think it would be like if your husband earned a real man card?
Let us know in the comments and be sure to check back tomorrow for another of our 2011 countdown! You can see all of our 2011 Countdown posts here…