Shopping is not often on the list of favorite activities for most guys! Yet, ever year we trudge out to the mall looking for the gift that will bring that special “wow” smile to our wife’s face! Most guys loath Christmas shopping, and unfortunately guys, just going is not a gift. We also need to thoughtfully pick out the correct present. Last year when I wrote, The Guy’s Gift Guide to Rock Your Wife’s World, I suggested presents to match her “Love Language”. I was shocked by the response the post got! I recognized that many guys are stuck for Christmas ideas but they really want to find their wife that wow factor, perfect present. This year I want to help you hit a home run again! Here we go guys, the ultimate guide to find your wife the perfect Christmas wow, present.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to think carefully about your wife in each of the 4 gift categories. Think about the questions in each category and see if you can discover the wow gift your wife will love to unwrap Christmas Day
A Word About Budgets
It is easy to destroy the bank account on Christmas gifts, and I think many husbands fall into this trap simply because they don’t know how to pick the right gift. Rather then risking, a swing and a miss they pick a number of sort-of gifts instead. I encourage each of you to set a total budget for gifts for your wife. Now, divide that number by 5. As you read you have a budget to pick a gift in each of the 4 gift categories, one of which will be a slightly larger “wow” present! Example: say your budget is $100, you would aim to spend $20 for items in the 3 of the categories and $40 for the fourth.
Wow Gift #1: Grow Your Mind
Encouraging your wife’s interests can be an excellent gift. It is even better if the gift is a way that you can take part in her interests by doing it together. My wife is a wonderful photographer. She has run a small photography business for several years, and she does excellent work. However, she is always saying that she feels her art is far superior to her technological knowledge about photography. Last year a friend recommended a class that was being offered on-line. We took the course together so I could learn more about her interest, and she could expand her abilities. This was a great opportunity for us to grow our intellectual intimacy together.
- What hobbies does she have that you could help to expand with increased learning?
- What authors does she like to read? Do they have any non-fiction books?
- What courses at the local community education center would interest her?
Wow Gift #2: I Choose You
No matter how long you have been married your wife still desires to hear, “Will your marry me?”. She doesn’t necessarily need to hear the words, but she does want to feel the words coming out of your actions. She needs to know that she is special in your eyes, that you pay attention to her, that you are still wooing her! One of the best ways to have a Christmas gift say, “I would choose you to be my wife all over again” is simply by picking out something that she desires, but has not told you she desires. This can be a challenge, but it is not an impossibility. I’m not talking about a new washing machine here guys, (a really really bad idea for a Christmas present by the way). I’m talking about the “I don’t want to spend it on myself, even though I really want it” type of gift. How do you know what this could be? Consider the following questions:
- When talking to your wife have you heard her say, “I really like those _____.”?
- Does she have an Amazon wish list? Do you know what is in it?
- Has a movie come out that she mentioned that she wanted to see? Check to see if it is on DVD now.
- Does a favorite author have a book that either just released or is about to?
- Is there something that she ”expresses distress” over often? (Kate hates being cold, she still tells me that one of the best gifts I ever gave her was an electric blanket, not romantic but to her it meant I was paying attention)
Wow Gift #3: Remember When
Memories are powerfully connected to our emotions. Gifts that trigger old happy memories are a great way to say “I love you!” This might take a bit of mental or even physical searching, but if you think back to some of your first Christmas’ together you might discover the perfect gift. Consider these questions to knock the cobwebs out of your memories.
- What did you do your first Christmas together, either as a married couple or when you were dating?
- What gifts did you give?
- Where did you go?
- Dig out some old pictures and see if there is any gifts that can recreate a piece of your first Christmas’ together.
Wow Gift #4: Let’s Play
Fun is the name of the game for this category. It is so easy to go about the daily tasks of life and not stop and find a time to just have fun! Take some time to really think about ways that you and your wife can enjoy some fun together. Challenge yourself to come up with something more then just a dinner and a movie. Think about these questions to help with some ideas:
- When you were dating what thing did you do that was the most fun?
- Check out the local tourist spots, maybe there is something that you have been avoiding but people actually travel for miles to come see.
- Is there a local theater company? See if there are any shows that might be fun for the two of you to see together?
Sometimes fun together doesn’t just have to be the 2 of you. Does your wife have a best girlfriend she likes to hangout with? Be bold and reach of to her friend’s husband, suggest planning an evening for the 4 of you. You could even just plan a night for the 4 of you to play a board game while someone watches all the kids.
* Wow Sex- for Christmas
I’m guessing that you noticed that sexy gifts was not one of the categories. There is a very simple reason for this. No matter what the sexual intimacy with your wife looks like the first 4 categories are winners for finding great Christmas presents. Each of these categories will help you to develop other areas of intimacy with your wife.
Gift 1- Intellectual Intimacy
Gift 2, 3 & 4 -Emotional Intimacy
If you have great sexual intimacy, Christmas can be an excellent time to “introduce” a new idea into your sex life. If you read my post, “Sexual Assertiveness Training” and you think it applied to you then you might just qualify to add a Sex for Christmas gift. In that case there are a number of place that you can visit without being exposed to pornographic images. The Marriage Bed has a full listing, but 2 that we have explored are The Pure Bed and The Sensuous Wife.
That’s it guys! Spend some time thinking and hopefully you will find the shopping a bit less painful this year!
Have some other excellent ideas? We would all love to hear them, send a comment and help out another husband this year!
Help support the mission of One Flesh Marriage! If your shopping at Amazon use this link and we will get a tiny percentage of every purchase you make! Thanks!