Kate says . . .
All too often girls and women in our society share way too much of what was created for their husbands eyes only before their marriage. However, once married some embrace sharing their bodies with their husband while others hardly bare anything at all! How do we become wives who are eye-catching to our hubby but not to all the other people around us?
Many married wives struggle with how modesty fits into their marriage. We are taught from early on to be modest about our bodies and to not show too much skin. Then we get married and we are told it is okay for all that to change. Does modesty still have a place when you are married? And if it does how?
I feel strongly that while we must be modest around those who are not our husband, we should dress to please our husbands and to be eye-catching for him. Yes we have already caught his eye, but I would encourage you that there is nothing wrong with continuing to catching his eye!
Catching his eye while avoiding others
Let’s talk about what should be covered and what is ok to be shown when in the presence of people in addition to your husband. The parts that Adam and Eve covered in their shame are definitely for your hubby’s eyes only! Every bit of them. I would also encourage that everything in-between those two areas (breast to vagina and rear end-in case you were wondering) should also be for your hubby’s eyes only. As for the rest, they are grey areas, but I think we all know when we are showing off too much. The reality is that we like the attention of someone noticing us. God created that feeling in us for a reason, but it should remain a feeling that we seek from our husband and no one else. Keeping that in check can be a challenge, but will help you to focus that energy on your hubby.
5 Great ways to attract your hubby’s eye everyday – while avoiding other eyes
- Wear figure flattering clothes. We are all unique and shaped differently. Dress daily (or most days) in outfits that fit your personality, but also flatter your figure.
- Stay away from sweats and comfy clothes as much as possible. They have their time and place, but should not be a staple in your wardrobe.
- Low necklines are great as long as they are not too low.
- Try something new. Remember that even though you may personally like a certain style something new every now and then can really draw your hubby’s attention.
- One word “Commando”
Think outside of the box. Think what could I wear tonight that will make my hubby’s eyes pop when he walks though the door? These things keep your hubby looking and smiling! If you are home and do not have to go out, perhaps go for a bit more skin. If you have kids you may have to still be careful, but you can wear a lower cut shirt or go without a bra or undies (not that you could necessarily see the lack of undies).
For His Eyes Only – Modesty in the bedroom?
In the bedroom, the sky is the limit. There are no regulations, no parameters. You can wear something sexy or go for nothing at all. Wear one of your hubby’s button down dress shirts that is always fun! Many times when we are modest in the bedroom, it comes from upbringing, embarrassment and uncertainty. Uncertainty of our own bodies, or what our husband will think . . . we get nervous and therefore stop trying altogether. Some wives also shy away from showing skin and being naked in the bedroom because they know what their husband will “want”. I struggled with this mentality for many years and it was very unhealthy. It truly pointed to bigger issues in our sex and intimacy. If you feel the same way, it is time to think about those bigger issues and find healing. God’s plan for a husband and wife is to look at, savor and enjoy each other’s nakedness. It is to be enjoyed, to be an attraction. It is not a bad thing to show a little skin and tempt your husband into wanting to hold you and love you. I have heard some say that you should spend the first year of your marriage without a TV (at all, not just in the bedroom) and without clothes on in the bedroom. In other words embrace and enjoy each other-naked.
Do you as a wife, hide behind modesty? Do you dress in a way to keep your husband from looking at you? Think about what is at the root of that? Do you not want him to notice, so you can keep him from being enticed? Have you been taught that nakedness and sex are dirty and wrong?
Do you embrace the plan that God has given your body over to your husband for enjoyment? Do you dress for him and keep him looking all day long?
We all struggle with body image and what we have been taught about sex drastically effects how we allow our husbands to enjoy our bodies.
Wives: I would love for you to share with me your thoughts on modesty and marriage.
Husbands: Share with us wives your thoughts on how too much modesty can affect you as the husband as well as how too much showing off by others can affect you?
- 10 Day Challenge
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The One Flesh Marriage
10 Day Challenge
February 5th - 14th
Check out all the 10 Day Challenge posts so far!!
Top 10 Reasons to take the One Flesh Marriage 10 Day Challenge:
- For Her
How wives can get their husbands ready for the 10 Day Challenge
- For Him
A Choose Your Own Adventure for husbands to get their wife excited about the 10 Day Challenge