Day 1- Make it her way…

Brad says…

The 10 Day Challenge is finally here!  Today is the day, but before you just run and jump into the sack we have a few tips and ideas to help you make the most of your 10 days of passion together!  Every couple is entering the challenge with their own story, their own struggles and their own obstacles to overcome.  Having sex together 10 days in a row will not erase all of the struggles, but it just might give you a platform to work on them in different ways.

For some of you husbands the idea of having sex with your wife 10 days in a row is a dream come true.  As thanks for that dream today, the first day of the challenge I encourage all of you to make it a “her way day”!

Her Way

Do you know what her way is?  Some of you might not have a clue, and if that is case you will have to make sure to find out specifics soon!  While this is a generalization if you don’t know specifics I would suggest the following:

Step 1:  Start by giving her 20 to 30 minutes to just relax.  Yes this is a start for sex.  Tell her to take some time for herself while you do something for the family: Play with the kids, make dinner, clean up for (or from) the Super Bowl Party for example

Step 2:  Take it slow.  Clothes on, kissing, light touch… for a minimum of 15 minutes

Step 3:  Every woman has different preferences of which sexual positions bring them the most pleasure.  Often the woman on top positions allow her more control of her sensations.  Allow her to guide you to what feels right for her.

Step 4:  For many women additional stimulation is essential to orgasm. Take your time; tell her to take her time too!  Slow down and enjoy!

Step 5: After…  We are providing a Scripture reading for each of the 10 days.  What you do with this today will set the tone for the rest of the days.  I encourage you to take a risk.  Pull out your Bible and read the passage out loud to your wife.  It doesn’t matter if you read well or not.  The experience of togetherness is what is important!

Day 1- Scripture Passage:

Song of Solomon Chapter 1


Day 1 Giveaway:

Today’s 10 Day Challenge Tip was sponsored by:  Union 28.  Visit for awesome marriage lifting apparel!  A great Valentines idea guys!  We love them!  Enter to win a his and hers “Marriage Rocks” T-shirt set!

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46 Responses to Day 1- Make it her way…

  1. What a great idea…especially tying a scripture to the challenge. I can’t wait for the next 9 days…

    Still Dating My Spouse Blog

    • Mamma L.
      Oh No, But don’t give up! There is still lots of time and lots of ways to grow intimacy even if it isn’t sexual intimacy! Keep focus on growing your marriage during these 10 days! Follow along with the Scripture, and PRAY!

      • Oh I’m NOT giving up!
        To be honest I was shocked the he even agreed to participate in the first place so I’m taking that as some kind of good sign? Its been almost 4 years of almost constant rejection from my husband(in every aspect of intamacy – not just sex), but I WILL NOT give up.
        Its getting very very VERY hard to see anylight at the end of the tunnel so-to-speak, but I have faith that there is one… somewhere. Maybe if I travel far enough down the road with God by my side and lots of prayer maybe, just maybe I will find it 🙂

        • Mama L,
          I wanted to let you know you are not alone in your struggle as wife seeking intmacy with your husband. We have only been married going on four years and it has been a struggle for me with constant rejection from my hubby. We will go for weeks before he wants to be intimate with me. So this was a surprise to me when he agreed to try this challenge with me. We are going to have a few days that we may not be able to be together due to my possibly having to work.

          thoughts and prayers!

  2. Well, last night my Sweetheart was relaxing while I went to pick up our daughter from work. She continued in her quiet moments while I spent time with our son watching the hockey game; in the meantime I started to email her with short messages about plans for Sunday morning…she wanted an EARLY start before anyone else awoke. Back and forth we went to arrange our agenda so we could begin to anticipate the start of Day #1. Day #2 will be at the Seminary in our private suite!

    • Bill,
      What an awesome way to kick off Day 1! Keeping intimacy on your mind is a great way to make it special every day! Enjoy!

  3. Can’t wait to get started…thanks for the scriptures too! I liked this post, and have found some useful ideas even though I’m the wife!! My husband does sooooooo much with the kids and around the house, so this is good… he’s totally on board with the challenge… so we are looking forward to a fun 10 days!

  4. We’re excited! Been waiting for this since we found your blog a couple months ago-we think it’s fun and will be a good experience for us! Thanks!

  5. Although we can’t start for a couple weeks, I look forward to reading each day’s blog and re-reading them with my hubby when we start the challenge.

  6. We have had so much stress we barely make time for us!This is a great website we appreciate Brad what your doing. Praying for all marriages to rekindle what was there in the beginning! God bless

  7. Just wanted to say I’m looking forward to the scripture reading and the work God is going to do in us with that alone.

    So far I’ve found that making that extra effort to clear my mind makes a HUGE difference. I’ve had to remind myself to mentally relax, but once I do that time with my hubby is far more enjoyable and we don’t have to do much – things just have a natural flow all on their own. Last night we had some quality cuddle time that reminded me of our courting days in some ways. We were committed to a pure relationship before marriage, so we valued every moment together and made the most of it in other ways. It was still an intimate experience.

    I also found last night that being together is healing and rejuvenating for me. Chinese medicine says that a woman loses 10 years worth of energy with every pregnancy. I’ve had three pregnancies in the last three years (the first of which being a honeymoon baby) and I feel it. Last night I felt like I got a little bit of that back. All our girls were asleep and I got to enjoy a couple hours of just being me with my hubby – no baby draining me from inside or nursing. It was quite freeing.

    Anyway…thanks again for posting the challenge. My hubby has been asking what he’s supposed to do these 10 days, so these tips will definitely help him out I think. We’ll probably read together later today. For now, I’ve got to go or we’ll be late for church. 🙂

  8. My husband and I are looking forward to this challenge so much! We just had a baby at the end of December and just got the go ahead about a week ago 😉 We are looking forward to getting back in our groove and I know this will be a great way to start!

  9. My husband and I are thrilled to start the challenge. We have no doubt that this is going to VERY positively change our marriage! Thank you!

  10. Just popped the question this morning on my husband, and he seemed like it is something he will do, praying the challenges will bring us even closer, great way to start the week!

  11. OK since my husband is not home for that many days I thought I would “romance” him anyways. So after church today I called him at his station to see if he wanted to meet me for lunch. Heck, I figure you hear that sex starts outside the bedroom all the time so now he knows I was thinking of him and plus I love a man in uniform so it just gave me something to think about till’ he comes home. Ha!

  12. Thank you both for your wisdom and words of encouragement! Your blog has made a very positive impact on our relationship, and helped shape the way I approach my wife!

  13. How do I post a picture of a poster I think fits with the thrust of the 10 day challenge. It’s mainly text. I tried to share it with One Flesh marriage facebook site. Even though we are facebook friends it won’t let me share with you since you are listed as an organization. I even tried posting to a group. No success that way. If you go on my face book “Linda Hoadley Burger you will see my post.

  14. Woo-Hoo, day 1 was a ton of fun. Unfortunately, we realized of these 10 days, 8 of them we have a guest staying in the guest bed room. Shouldn’t cramp our style too much, but still makes it awkward.

    • Hi Rachael! LOL! Oh well, what can you do! We usually don’t let that stop us either, just have to keep the volume down a bit! Have fun! Blessings, Kate

    • Hey Elizabeth! Sorry you missed it too and they are super cute! If you go to the bottom of the page for day 1’s tip, there is a 15% off coupon for all of our readers! It is good for a while! Blessings, Kate

  15. Hubby and I are looking forward to this challenge. I am 5 months pregnant with our first, and finally over the “don’t touch me” stage. Hubs is excited!

    Sadly, we both had tummy aches after the superbowl (too much yummy food!), so we are starting today. Already the anticipation has been fun!

    Thanks for being so positive about marriage, and providing such a great resource for couples!

    • Hi Ashley! You go girl, taking on the challenge while pregnant! That is awesome. Actually, I was all about sex while pregnant with both of our bio kids! So have fun and enjoy each other. Thanks for your encouraging words, they mean a great deal to us! Blessings, Kate

  16. Sorry guys your first 4 steps don’t work at all with my wife.

    1) She just wants to get started.
    2) No foreplay, she prefers to get turned on by sex itself.
    3) Not interested in woman on top at all.
    4) Her orgasm within 5 minutes of touching her. Mine in another 5-10 minutes.

    Maybe it’s because she’s pregnant. Either way, we’re off to a fun start with a morning quickie.

    • Hi Jay Dee! Sorry these don’t work for you, they are certainly not every women. Everything we write is going to have people that it does not apply to! The good thing and the blessing is that you have spend time exploring your wife’s likes and dislikes and can confidently say what she will enjoy! That is a good place to be, a place where sex is safe and growth can happen! Good stuff! Blessings, Kate

  17. I found your blog a few days ago while researching some topics from a series that our church is teaching; “Uncovered: GOD on Sex”. Since our twins were born (they’re 5 now), Sexual intimacy has taken a, tightly stuffed away, back seat to everyday life. So, even though the 10-Day Challenge is technically over for this year, I told my husband about it. He, very enthusiastically, agreed to following along with the posts to do our own 10-Day Challenge. I decided to comment on the posts as, sort of, an accountability source for me since most of the struggle has been with me. Day One was a wonderful experience and we are looking forward to what today (Day Two) will bring.

    • That is awesome Shannon! Good for you and your hubby! I am lifting you up right now and I know that God will bless you through this time! 🙂 Blessings, Kate