Selfishness is a real stumbling block in our marriages. The self-centered nature that says, “what I want and what I need is most important.” We have seen this kind of thinking wreak havoc in our own marriage at times and we have learned that in marriage where you put your focus very much impacts your marriage.
As Brad and I walk this one flesh marriage journey together, we want to serve each other and put each other’s needs above our own. Sounds like a great plan doesn’t it? It is, but I have been learning in these past few weeks, that seeking to please our hubby is not enough, while that is important, we should be seeking to please God first and then in turn we will be pleasing our hubby.
When our focus is on pleasing man (even our hubby), we will fall short, eventually! When we focus on God’s word and what he wants for wives-pleasing Him, we will be blessed and will please our hubby in the way God designed too.
This is not to say that doing things for your hubby, surprising him, blessing him or doing things the way he enjoys is wrong in any way. On the contrary it is a good thing. Yet, even though it is a good thing, when our internal focus becomes our hubby, we will eventually struggle.
I LOVE to shower my hubby with affection, to love on him, to make his favorite meals, etc! Even more than that, I love the feeling that I am connected with God and doing as he asks of me. It is then that I serve, respect and love my hubby the best that I can. When I am centered on Jesus and walking in His ways, I am in the best place to please my hubby.
You may be thinking that you have seen women who are in the Word, involved in church, leading Bible study and yet they have a lousy marriage. So how does being so “rooted” in Jesus give you the best shot at pleasing your hubby? As Christ followers we all have times where we try hard to keep Christ as the center, but know we are struggling and are not in the best place. Keeping Christ as the center does not mean you will never struggle. It also does not mean that you will never argue or have tough times in your marriage.
Pleasing God means being obedient to His word and His will for marriage. If we are being obedient, then we have an amazing opportunity to love, respect and please our hubby.
When we are obedient to God’s word then we cannot deny what God is asking of us as wives, in Ephesians 5 as well as 1 Corinthians 7:1-7. When we are striving to be obedient in these verses (along with others) then we are pleasing God. Since we are following God’s plan for marriage, I believe we will please our hubby as well.
Are their exceptions to this? I am sure there are. Perhaps you and your hubby have a huge gap that needs a bridge, perhaps you are both struggling in your marriage. Regardless, positive things happen when we do as God ask us. Try pleasing God and follow His word for wives. See if your husband does not respond in a positive way. He will notice and be pleased.
When we please God I believe we will please and bless our hubby. I believe God desires for your hubby to hold a place in your life, which no one else can. They are second place and nothing should touch that, but God is always in first place. I cannot imagine my life without Brad by my side, don’t want to even contemplate it. Yet, life without Jesus-is just not life. So pleasing Him should come first and then you can focus on pleasing your hubby, but I am thinking you already will be!