Submission . . . Seriously?

Kate says . . .

I am jumping on the submission wagon too . . . because it is a wagon I want to be counted on!

If you have spent any time here at OFM, you know that we base our ministry on God’s word for marriage.  We always have, but we have not always
looked in-depth for God’s design and desire for the roles a wife and a husband have in marriage.  Now we are passionate about it.  God’s design is amazing and when you are obedient to His word, your marriage is blessed.

Lately our friends in the marriage blogger world have been tackling this beautiful, emotional and many times controversial topic.  We admire these bloggers greatly and wanted to share with you what they have been saying on the subject of submission.  Take some time to check out these great posts on submission and dialogue with God about them.  Seek what He wants your heart to hear from these articles.  I am still learning as a wife where submission is concerned.  There are days I struggle, but my desire is to be the wife God wants me to be.

If this subject confuses you, search the scriptures, they are your ultimate guide.  Don’t take my word for it, or our good friends, God’s word is what matters most.  Then talk to someone about what God is placing on your heart.  You can always email me at or any of our marriage blogger friends.  I consider it a privilege to talk with women about submission and anything marriage.

Here are the articles that I have been gleaning from over the past couple weeks and they are well said!  I also have attached a few of the articles Brad and I have written on the subject.

Conclusion~Would You Like To Dance?  –  The Generous Wife has done a fantastic series talking about submission and many of the hard questions that come along with it.  I am linking her last article, because she has links to all the previous articles within this post.  I truly appreciate her wisdom as a wife and all that she has to say on submission, being a generous wife and marriage.

Headship and Submission – Oh My!  – The Generous Husband is also talking submission.  We obviously like to see husbands and wives talk back and forth about subjects, because it gives you a more complete picture.  Brad and I admire The Generous Husband and Wife-we just can’t say it enough.

Headship?  Me?  Maybe not . . .  –  The Generous Husband

Submit to Each Other?  –  The Generous Husband

Who Submits to Whom and Why?  –  The Generous Husband

Being The Head – The Generous Husband

Sexual Submission – The Generous Husband

How We Do Headship and Submission – The Generous Husband

A Picture of Submission  –  Scott at Journey to Surrender also has picked up on The Generous Wife’s series and has shared some of his own thoughts.  Scott also has years of wisdom and great knowledge of God’s word.  Brad and I love to glean from his words of wisdom.

The “S” Word and the “F'” Word – Journey to Surrender

Our articles on OFM talking about Submission:

We’re Diving In!  Ephesians 5:  22-24 – One of my articles on submission and a verse that is who I want to be as a wife.

The Marriage Road Less Traveled  –  Another article that I wrote shortly after the first.

Journey to the Space In Between  –  Brad looks at submission in these three articles.

3 Words Husbands Need to Unlock Submission

Submission is Not a Dirty Word!

You will see that many people have strong opinions on these scriptures and what they mean.  I also know there are many people who abuse submission or you may feel aren’t deserving.  Check out these awesome posts and explore more deeply God’s heart for submission.  God has a plan for us as wives and I don’t think we can understand its fullness until we have wrestled with these verses in Ephesians 5.

Be sure to share your thoughts below.  Iron sharpens iron (Psalm 27:17) and we would love to hear what you are thinking and how God has spoken to you through His word!


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15 Responses to Submission . . . Seriously?

  1. Kate,

    I haven’t yet reviewed all the posts you mention here (although I caught one from The Generous Wife last week), but I want to chime in on the conversation. In looking at marriage through the lens of partner dancing, you get a great perspective on what it means to “follow” your partner’s lead. I write about a few observations in this blog post:

    • Hi MarriageDance! Thanks for sharing your link! This is a topic we are passionate about and think getting people thinking and talking is a good thing! Even if they are wrestling a bit as well! Blessings, Kate

  2. Well done. I love and appreciate your courageous stand on this–your desire to first understand scripture, and then apply your life to it, rather than the other way around.

    This is a helpful collection of posts–and I love the dancing analogy. You might appreciate one post about this: “Equal Partners Dance Class.”

    • Hi Strong Man! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and my link! Bringing these topics to light and talking about them is so vital! I believe Satan wants to keep them in the darkness, where fear rules! Thanks for helping and sharing! Blessings, Kate

  3. I recently read the book “Finding the Hero in Your Husband,” by Dr. Julianna Slattery. The subtitle is “Surrendering the Way God Intended.” The moms group that I’m a part of is now using this book for our bi-monthly study… in a world where we place unreasonable expectaions on our husbands and try to control them, it’s good to remember God’s intention for marriage.

    Submission is not a dirty word… it can actually be a beautiful word that glorifies God!!! It’s not about being a doormat, it’s about trusting God to lead your husband… and respecting your husband even when he makes mistakes. As I learn more and practice submission in my own marriage, I’m finding that my husband is respecting my opinions and listening to me more. I am most definitely finding the hero in my husband!!

    • Hi Nicole! Thanks so much for sharing! That sounds like a book I will have to check out! I have read several on the topic, but not that one. You are so right, submission is NOT a dirty word. Jesus was the ultimate example of submission to His Father. It is a beautiful word and a beautiful picture that God allows us to create, if we are willing. I too have found that when I offered myself as a submissive wife, my hubby too became the man I always hoped he would be. Because I stepped back, allowing him to step up and lead. It is a dance as so many have said, one leads, the other follows, but one cannot do the dance without the other! Both are essential to the dance of marriage, yet the roles are different. For me it was only then, that I felt freedom and beauty in our marriage. Through submission I felt freedom! Seems backwards, but when it is God’s way-it always works best. I will be blogging more on submission and freedom soon! Thanks again for sharing! Blessings to you and your hubby! Kate

  4. There’s some new conversation about submission over at my blog today:

    Nicole, thanks for sharing about the book you’re reading and how it is blessing your marriage!

  5. Thanks for sharing Lesley! What a great look at all that influences submission and what we really need to focus on! God’s desire for oneness! Agree wholeheartedly! 🙂 Blessings, Kate

    • Hi Melissa! Thanks for sharing and yes, submission is a subject that I am passionate about sharing. Since I once used to bulk at the idea. God is faithful and has spoken to my heart about what I was doing. I will be checking out your stuff as well, thanks for sharing! Blessings, Kate

  6. I just finished reading The “S” Word and the “F’” Word ( Journey to Surrender) and I think it was pretty insightful.

    The post talks about submission to your spouse – something that took me a long time to understand (I can be pretty headstrong at times). I found the article very self-affirming.

    Great list here. I’m familiar with a lot of these sites.

    • Hi Jason! Scott at Journey to Surrender is one of our dearest friends and we greatly value his wisdom! He and his wife are the best! Thanks for sharing and it is a hard thing to take in, but once we understand God’s plan for it, it really is amazing! Thanks for sharing! Blessings, Kate and Brad