It has only been 5 days since the end of the One Flesh Marriage 10 Day Challenge, and yet I am guessing that some of you quickly returned to old habits. That is the problem with habits, they are really hard to change, even the ones that we really want to!
It might not be possible to keep the challenge going in the sense of having sex every day, but it is possible to keep the spirit of the challenge alive in your marriage every day. Kate’s post, Forward Momentum talked about 2 ways that you can avoid a backslide. Today I’m going to add two more ways that husbands need to specifically think about.
While Kate and I have done the challenge before, and heck we organized it, we found it difficult this time because we happened to have a very busy schedule for those 10 days. We knew that we had to carve out time for just the two of us. As unromantic as it sounds there were several days that we had to say, “Ok we’ll have an hour together at 11:00pm”, or “Can we sneak some time together between Church and Small Group?” We had to plan because intimacy takes TIME.
Tick Tick Ticking Away
Look back at the 5 days since the challenge. Have you spent as much focused time together as you did during the challenge? I’m going to guess not. Some of that is normal; however some of our time easily goes down the drain if we are not intentional about spending it in the right places.
Guys, remember the way that you used to “test the sexual waters” in your marriage? Now that you have gone through the challenge, you don’t need those old methods, you only need to remain intentional about your time! Leaving for work, whisper to your wife about spending 1 on 1 time when you get home. Thinking about “it” during dinner with the family, tell your wife that you will be putting the kids to bed so you can have time just the two of you later.
These two ideas led right into my second way to continue the spirit of the 10 Day Challenge. Thoughts! Yes, I am telling guys that they need to have sexual thoughts. I know that sounds silly, but hear me out.
How did your thought life change during the 10 Day Challenge? Did any of you guys notice a difference? I did. I found that I was frequently thinking about my wife, in very specific ways that I will not go into here…..
For many guys sexual day dreaming is a habit that they try very hard to break, however the positive sexual day dreams are very different. Not only are these healthy, I find that they also leave me feeling more positive, and thankful. These thoughts are a great motivation to really think about blessings and priorities. Positive sexual thoughts about your wife with help you to focus on what is important, while avoiding the daily temptations we are bombarded with.