The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex

Kate says . . .

Have you ever found yourself reading a book and saying, “Yes!  Yes!  Yes!  This lady knows what she is talking about?”   Then you know how I felt while reading and gleaning through Sheila Gregoire’s new books, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun).  Many of you may know Sheila as the author of the amazing blog, To Love, Honor and Vacuum.  More importantly, Sheila is a wife just like the rest of us.  She loves God and wants to serve Him.  In serving God, she is passionate about His word for wives and, as we like to call it, our “one flesh” union.  She has a wisdom and depth to her writing, she writes from her heart and experience and she shares her own struggles and joys about intimacy and marriage.  She also challenges . . . challenges us to be amazing wives-in and out of the bedroom.  Is it always easy-no, but it is greatly worth it and is a message that is near and dear to my heart.

Are you a Good Girl?

Do you want to be a Good Girl?  Sheila’s take on this is great!  We buy into a “Bad Girl” mentality of sex and therefore sell ourselves short as well as our husband. We have ALL done it ladies.  We think that sex is shameful, or that only people with amazing bodies have great sex.  We allow these lies to shape how we feel about ourselves, about our husband and about sex.  Sheila deals with these lies head on!

The first aspect of this book that I LOVE, of which there are many, is that Sheila shares the practical.  She doesn’t take anything for granted and explains how men and women work.  How we are physically designed for sex.  This is a great section for engaged women but also for those who never had someone talk to them about how sex physically works.  I know you may be chuckling, but there are many women who may be afraid to admit that they know very little when it comes to the “mechanics” of sex.  As a young bride, I knew basics, but I really wish I had this book to spell it all out for me.  Wisdom and knowledge are a good thing when it  comes to improving sex and intimacy.  Sheila also shares great info on family planning and birth control methods as every marriage has to address these topics in one way or another.

Sheila does an amazing job of shedding light on the differences between men and women’s emotions about sex.  I love that she addresses that even though differences can be a source of frustration at times, it is how God designed us to be.  He did this for a reason and though we may struggle to see the benefit at times, the benefit is there.  At times I lovingly look at my hubby and think, “wow we are so different.”  Yet, I am able now to praise God for those differences.  It is beautiful.

Women need and crave emotional connection before and leading up to sex.  Our guys on the other hand, need and crave the emotional connection that sex brings and they feel fulfilled after sex.  Unfortunately, many of us get stuck in our own selfish thinking, in our own selfish sexual desires.  Understanding, your husband’s need for sex and how it affects his self-esteem, how he looks at himself, how he feels about work, how he feels about almost everything is vital to understanding him.  So many times we wait for our hubby’s to fill us emotionally before we will make sex a priority.  When the reality is that if you make sex a priority your hubby will most likely rise to the occasion and start meeting your emotional needs.  As Sheila says “When we meet his needs, he starts to meet yours.  It’s a give and take.  But if you’re waiting for him to be affectionate and romantic before you make love, it may never happen.” (pg. 216)  So true!

Truly there are so many good things to glean from this book and I want you to know how amazing it is.  I hope that you will read it.  Sheila doesn’t dodge the tough subjects; she shares openly about the hot topics and questions many women have: “Is oral sex ok?”, “What about sex toys” and “How about role-playing?”

Sheila discusses the common sexual issues or roadblocks with both men and women.  She gives practical sound advice as to how to move forward in your marriage, making sex a priority as well as sacred.  Sex is a spiritual act of worship that God created for husband and wife, only.  Her emphasis on growing your friendship with your spouse is refreshing and challenging.   Most of all it is her heart for Christ and His plan for marriage that, in my opinion makes this book a one of kind.  At the heart of every answer she gives is Christ, His grace, His love and His plan for amazing sex in marriage.  With Christ at the center of sex and marriage, we experience what it means to be one flesh!

“Sex is not about genitalia.  It’s about relationship.  When God said ‘the two shall become one flesh,’ he didn’t mean it only physically.”  -YES!!!

God has created every one of us to be a “Good Girl”, dive into Sheila’s book to find out how!  You won’t be sorry you did!

Sheila and her publisher have graciously given us an extra book to give away.  To enter leave us a comment below and we will choose a random comment to win a copy of this amazing, practical, Christ-centered approach on marriage!
Can’t wait: Get a copy today!

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54 Responses to The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex

  1. I appreciate the reference to having a heart for Christ. This central and foundational concept is what enables each saint to live for Christ in every area of life, including marriage. Paul tells us in Colossians 1:27 that “Christ in us is the hope [confidence] of glory [Christ’s character]. So for us to have a heart for Christ He must indwell and live out His awesome, passionate love in and through us. The reality of Christ working in my heart enables me to love my precious bride as Christ loves the Church. In the many facets of this jewel relationship called marriage. Trying this in ‘my own’ energies will reveal just how bankrupt I am, in and of myself. That is where allowing Christ to have my heart is paramount. His overflowing love and grace is never exhausted. Praise to His marvelous grace!

  2. Excited to read this book! I already ordered my copy but would love to have another to pass on! 🙂

  3. I would love to read this with my wife. I followed Sheila’s 29 Days on her blog at it was fantastic. I would like to get deeper into all of it like the book does.

  4. This sounds like a great book as I am finally starting to “get” many of these ideas myself.

  5. Would very much like to read this one! Want so much to follow God in every aspect and find more ways to show my husband Gods love.

  6. Can’t wait to read this one! So glad there are Christian women who will stand up and say SEX is GOOD!

  7. I have the book in my iPad, but I would love a paper copy of it as well! Great book so far 🙂

  8. I think this is awesome! recently, I’ve been talkign abotu how our youth are so miseducated when it comes to sex- especially the girls. We’re taught to shame sex, hide it, and suppress it- from ovulation all the way up to physical intimacy. We teach them that some prince charming will come riding in on a white horse and sweep them into happily ever after. As adults we struggle with what is “slutty” and what is “righteous” while most of the men we marry have been taught that they aren’t men unless they are sexually experienced. (Yes, even in the church.) So will be a great read and even something I might want to share with my hubby. 🙂

    • I totally agree with you! Sex was “dirty” when I was being raised int he 60-70’s. Kids today are getting the wrong ideas as well in school, parents and friends and even in CHURCH mind you!

  9. Love One Flesh marriage..thanks for handling touchy subjects with grace and for allowing what God has made for good to be cherished…p.s. would love to read this book too…

  10. Can’t wait for ours to ship from Amazon… might have to write our own review of it after we’ve devoured the book. Go Sheila!

  11. Sheila is an AWESOME, Awesome Author to begin with! I love her books and get some awesome advise from her daily blogs. We did her 29 Days of great Sex the entire month of February alongside One Flesh’s 10 Day Challenege. God Bless each of you and your marriages!

  12. This sounds like a really helpful book for my husband and I. It is so easy to feel like the bad girls have better sex and more fulfilling sex. I definitely am going to check out this book! Thanks for the recommendation!

  13. this sounds like a book that every women needs to read, I enjoy reading your blog because it’s helped me grow resulting in my husband growing also. thanks,

  14. I’m 50 years old and I can’t wait to read this book!! I’ve been married almost 32 years!! 🙂

  15. Hi! I followed Shelia’s series of 29 Days to Great Sex… So great and so true…
    I can’t wait to read her book. Thank you both for helping christian couples around the world to grow in intimacy.

  16. This book sounds fantastic! I read The Sexually Confident Wife and after 18 years of no sexual communication, my husband and I are finally starting to work on this area! Just our feeble beginning attempt to please each other have already bought us closer emotionally and relationally! We kind of feel like teens, fooling around and seeing what we can do to turn each other on.
    About the kids, I have started doing a very thorough explanation of Godly married relationships and that they are not all boring (my husband and I are not very openly affectionate). My youngest daughter saw my husband grab me the other day, and was thoroughly surprised, but pleased that her parents weren’t ancient crones that had no fun!

  17. I hope she addresses the topic of women whose husbands have low sex drives. 🙁 It is not addressed often enough, and as a woman struggling with this, it greatly affects who I am and how I feel – on a daily basis. Thanks for the giveaway!

    • Hi Amy! She does!!! All of Chapter six is dedicated to men and low desire. We hear from many women who are in the same situation as you are, that they too need more information and help. We have tried to address both sides of the spectrum, because you are very right-whether you are a woman with low desire or a man with low desire or the wife being turned down or the husband being turned down-it GREATLY effects how you look at everything! Including yourself, your marriage, your future-everything! We pray that you and your hubby can find what is causing his low desire and find healing. Know that you are not alone out there. I don’t know what it is like to be in your shoes, but I know that it must hurt, greatly! Please know that I am praying for you and your hubby! There is great hope and healing in God’s plan for marriage and intimacy. Hold on to that hope! Blessings, Kate

    • You are right! It isn’t addressed enough! I go through the same thing with my husband. I felt so unloved and rejected…just not wanted. It was a long road! I hope they do address it in the book!

  18. Oh I want to read this book! I was in the same boat. My parents really never had the “talk” with me and I went to a very conservative school who felt it was the parents responsibility. So what I learned was from fellow female friends. I already have a few newlymarried women who I think would love this book!

  19. I admire shelia for writing this book and commend her for it…..I think it is about time some christian people take a stand in the area….cant wait to get the book for the wife….wife and i usually read these types of blog together…we have read shelia’s together also and it is great

  20. Sounds like an amazing book. Sex too often is a taboo topic in our lives, in our families, and our churches. I don’t think it is something that needs to be talked about all the time but it does need to be discussed openly in the proper context so that our children grow up knowing that this is a gift that God gave to husbands and wives.

  21. Sheila’s 29 days to great sex was great.
    If you hadn’t read along you should go back and read all 29 days.
    Thanks Kate and brad for your great blog also.

  22. I’ve recently got married and I am enjoying the journey thus far, I feel I am constantly learning! A book like “A Good Girl’s Guide” would be super helpful to any woman and a blessing to her hubby if she should read it! 🙂

  23. I always look forward to reading your One Flesh Marriage blog. Thanks for all good ideas and words of encouragement. I would love to read this book. One of my sons is getting married in April. If I win the copy I will give it to his wife to be.

  24. It would mean so much to have a copy of her book. God has been pulling me towards this fantastic world of Christian marriage blogs and finally after 21 years of marriage I understand how my old “normal” was selfish and against God’s plan for me and my dear husband. This is an area in which I still need a lot of growth and guidance!

    • Hi Teresa! Thanks for writing and sharing. I too never knew that what I thought was going to be our normal in marriage, was actually my being very self centered. So glad you mentioned that. I too will always still be growing in this areas, it is to easy to slip back into the selfish mode and think it is all about me. We have already given away our free copy of the book, but the Sheila’s book is definitely worth purchasing or borrowing from a friend. Blessings, Kate

  25. I am excited about getting my hands on this book. I’ve just heard about this site today and already I’m really grateful.

  26. I am going to go purchase this book. I have so many hangups about what is and is not Godly in the realms of marriage. I really need answers. I am 53 and have a very sexy 49 year old husband who LOVES sex.

    • Hi Ruth! Good for you stepping out and being willing to search God’s heart for his desire for sex and intimacy in marriage. Know that when you seek him, he will bless you! Sheila’s book is a great on to start with, definitely a must read. I would also say that Shannon Ethridge’s The Sexually Confident Wife is a great one as well. Don’t be intimidated by the title, it truly is a great book. Blessings to you as you seek Him! Kate

  27. Seems like this book has a lot of good advice, but the part about men needing sex to be emotional gets my back up. Women shouldn’t need to “put out” to get an romantic, emotional reward anymore than men should be romantic to get a sexual reward. Both partners should always be affectionate and romantic to each other at all times, and when the time is right the sex will happen.