Kate says . . .
Do you ever wish that you could have many weddings? That you could do it again all because becoming the fairy tale princess was fun? Wearing the pretty dress, seeing your man looking dapper . . . I might be one of those only wives out there that say – no way! Planning a wedding is a nightmare! I say that in jest, but there is some truth to it as well. I can always put my dress on again for fun and my dear hubby likes to look dapper for me, so I am GOOD!
Aside from all of the nightmare of planning the wedding the special part is the vows. The words that we chose to speak to each other, in front of God and friends and family. We say a great many things, but have not truly had time to comprehend the true depth of what we are saying. Even if you have an idea of what the vows mean, there is still so much more that you will go through in your lifetime together that you would have never predicted. Perhaps if you knew, some of you would have thought twice about marriage. For most of us looking at all of the joys you would experience together you might fall head over heels in love (again) with that hubby of yours.
As a photographer, I have had the unique experience of listening to quite a few wedding sermons. Each time I walk away amazed anew at God’s plan for marriage. At this point in our lives, with small kiddos, I only photograph weddings for friends and family. So the services I get to experience are for those we care for and have a vested interest in their marriage. I wanted to share with you today some of the things I have heard spoken and how they bring value well beyond words just for a special day when you pledge your everything to each other.
To all those preachers out there, I hope I am getting your quotes right! Regardless thank you for speaking truth and wisdom at weddings and not just fluff and fairy tale! It may be a lot for the bride and groom to take in, but there are many people who have open hearts to hear God’s word for marriage. Keep on preaching it!
“Love Christ preeminent (first), Love your spouse second-always!”
“Your friends are great and they bring much joy to you, but if you allow them, they can take away from your marriage. Don’t allow them this place.”
“If and when children come you will want to do what is best for them. If you truly want to do what is best for your children-do what is best for you marriage!”
“When you look back on this day, your wedding day, may it be the day that you loved each other the least.”
“You today as bride and groom are a picture of the church and Christ. You are a living parable of God’s word.”
“Today is the beginning of a journey!”
Ahh . . . that last one always gets me. I don’t think any of us realize the fullness of the word journey, yet it is such a beautiful picture.
Anyone who has been married for a week or more, knows that marriage is not always easy. It has its ups and downs. So how do we bring value to the things we have heard and pledged to one another on our wedding day?
God’s word
Everything we need to know about marriage and what God’s desires, is in His word. The Holy Spirit can and will teach your heart how to love your spouse, if you ask and invite Him to do so. Seek God’s word and ask Him how you can be the wife he wants you to be. Not the wife down the street, your mother-in-law or anyone else! Just His design for you as the special wife of your hubby.
Self reflection vs. Self interest
When you have times of confusion and sadness, when there are hurt feelings; stop and self reflect. Ask God what He wants to show you about yourself in all that is going on. I believe there are very few times where one person is completely at fault or responsible. Stop focusing on your own self-interest and refocus on what you need to learn!
Serve One Another
One of the best memories I have from our wedding was our foot washing ceremony (John 13: 1-17). Brad and I chose to pledge to one another that we intended to serve each other. Have we always walked this out? No. There have been many times where we have lost sight of that pledge. Yet I am reminded of how we bowed before each other and vowed to serve the other first, no matter what. Keep serving your hubby in everything.
Grace
Grace is one of my most favorite concepts throughout the Bible and it is also baffles me that God chooses to extend me grace for all that I have done and will ever do. Practice extending grace to your hubby. Nothing will speak louder than following Christ’s gift of grace.
Hold on tight and never let go
Where ever you go, whatever you do, no matter how many bad things you see, no matter what you lose, no matter how many sicknesses befall you-DO IT TOGETHER!! Hand in hand! Every little challenge and every big climb-do it together. Every beautiful experience-do it together. Oh and sex, do it together-often! :-) We were designed to be one flesh, once married! Embrace God’s plan and know that he will be with you through every moment!
“Today I join my life to yours, not only as your beloved but as your friend, your love and your confidant. Let me be the shoulder you lean on, the rock on which you rest, the companion of your life. With you I will walk our path from this day forward.” – Part of our wedding vows
How are the ways that you bring value to your wedding vows, whether spoken 40 years ago or 1?
Share with us the ways you have learned to walk out those vows.
Now this is thought provoking and should cause us to humbly bow before the Lord Jesus Christ to admit our failings and ask for His love for our wife or husband to flow out of us from Him in an increasing measure. While we’re at it why not talk to the one we married and ask how we can show Christ’s love better. He is the creator of marriage and thus knows best how it is to work out AND has the power to make it happen, willing to work it in our hearts and on our behalf.
Rose and me have been married 26 years and even recently in a very stressful time with multiple and diverse factors, the Lord, even in the midst of a time of marriage bed intimacy, brought us to verbally communicate about some of ‘little thorns’ in our relationship that had been irritating us on and off. Talk about intimacy enrichment! Even in the afterglow we had more heartfelt sharing which made the experience last over 3 hours. Since then there has been an even stronger union and unity in our marriage as we have learned more to cherish each other ‘for better or worse’ Communicating with our Heavenly Father is the foundation upon which we learn to truly communicate as man and woman, in the completeness of verbal, emotional and sexual facets of the same jewel.
Hi Bill! Thanks so much for sharing! What a beautiful testimony to what God can do through intimacy in a marriage! I never tire of hearing praises to God about how he works in our marriages. Keep seeking Him together as you walk out this marriage journey! Blessings, Kate
You are welcome Kate! The concept of Christian marriage being a jewel still strikes my heart as something enduring. A jewel requires pressures, chipping away, cutting, polishing and so much more to become what Jesus Christ has planned for His glory. Great IS His grace and faithfulness found in the never ending Presence of Him who forever indwells His saints. What encouragement to the soul as we yield to Him our every struggle, big and small, knowing the promise that He complete the work that HE began. “BLESSED ASSURANCE JESUS IS MINE; O WHAT A FORTASTE OF GLORY DIVINE!”
We always joke that if we were to it all over again we would have 5 people stand on the beach with us as we said our vows and then we would run for the hills! ha! Weddings are to stressful. That being said; 15 years later I love my husband WAAAYYYYYY more than I ever even knew how to love him on our wedding day. Personally I think I did a pretty crappy job the first year. But alas God is good and faithful to not leave us the way he found us. Thanks for your posts.
I agree 100%! Planning our wedding was super stressful but it was more than worth it! We’ve been married for just a couple of years but it seems that our union was blessed from the very beginning.
Hi Jennifer and Praise God for God blessing all of our unions! He is so good! Thanks for sharing! Kate
Hi Christy! Ha ha! Weddings are stressful! But I appreciate your honesty about the first year of your marriage! I too did a pretty poor job the first couple of years of marriage. God too was faithful and broke us of things that needed to be broken! Thank goodness we serve a mighty God! Thanks for sharing and blessings to you and your hubby! Kate
My husband and I are already talking about our vow renewal ceremony and we haven’t even been married a full 2 years yet. I am constantly seeing good ideas for our future “again-wedding” and wondering, why didn’t I try that or know that or think of that the first time around?
I’ve been in a few weddings, and have attended many more and I’m always blessed by the beauty and the joy of the bride and groom, and the messages spoken at the ceremonies. However, as much as I’d love to do it all over again sometimes,I am always grateful to walk out of a wedding reception that isn’t mine, hand in my husband’s, and say, “I’m so glad we don’t have to plan or put up the money again and that it’s all over.”
Thank you for sharing your “wedding message” sound bytes. It’s such a blessing to hear/read that someone else enjoys the message part too. I especially loved the line, “When you look back on this day, your wedding day, may it be the day that you loved each other the least.” Such a good thought! I love my husband more today than I did on my wedding day and I’m grateful he loves me more too.
When I am reminded of how much grace God really extends to me, I am reminded how much grace I really need to extend to my husband. I am truly blessed to have a husband who doesn’t let things be very long. He always wants to resolve conflict immediately, and to give me a hug in the process. We work at solving issues quickly so that we may demonstrate living love, grace, and forgiveness to one another. This is one of the special ways we demonstrate our vows… that and sticking with each other through thick and thin because our first year of marriage was crazy.
Hi Hannah! Thank you for sharing with us! Loved all that you said and what a beautiful testiment you and your hubby are! Blessings to you both! Kate
You mention a foot-washing ceremony – would you mind describing how you did that and in what part of the wedding you did it? I have never seen anyone do that, but it sounds like a beautiful way to start a marriage..
Hi Heather! Sorry it took me so long to reply! We had a crazy family week and then were having problems with our internet connection. I love your questions and thanks for asking. You have inspired me to write a post on the subject and it will be my very next post, so stay tuned. As for when we did it in the ceremony-we did it before our vows, and we had our pastor read from John 13:1-7. It was a wonderful way to start our marriage and spoke to our intentions of serving one another. We had a great deal to learn about how that fleshes out and how to serve the other first. Yet I look back and love that part of our ceremony just as much as our spoken vows. I will post more soon, with pics! Blessings to you! Kate
[...] I wanted to share a post from a fellow marriage blogger, Kate from One Flesh Marriage. Her post, 100 Weddingsis about lessons (and reminders!) of wedding sermons. Being that she is a photographer, she has had [...]