The Renegade Husband

Brad says…
Men are in trouble! We have two choices; either we are a strong, yet insensitive, self-centered husband. Or we are a weak, lovie-dovie, cutsie one. The minute I say “a husband should be romantic” we picture this effeminate guy always working to make his wife happy. Yet when I talk about “husband’s leading the family” it is easy to only picture the angry power-hungry husband who doesn’t care at all!

I’m done being tossed between these two extremes, I’m going renegade! I’m leaving the traditions of men behind and forging a new path! I’m joining Kate’s revolution she started in her post, “The Radical Wife” and launching a movement of Renegade Husbands.

I want to walk through the rest of my days on earth with resilient authority, relentless love, and a furious longing to follow God’s heart and will in all areas of my life!

Resilient Authority

It is easy for people to understand and accept that respect is the way to speak love into a man’s heart. Somehow that same message gets lost when talking about a man’s need for leadership. Men desire leadership. Too often men have given up all leadership and authority in their home, and sometimes these men react as if they are owed it back. Renegade husbands understand that leadership is not default because we are a man, a husband or a father; real leadership is earned. Real resilient authority is earned by serving. Renegade husbands are not generals in cushy office barking orders; they are the captains stepping into the line of fire FIRST! We lead by doing, by example, by our lives. As we lead we build authority with our family to trust our decisions and follow us when we lead! Every step of a renegade husband’s authority is walked out in direct connection to his relentless love for his wife and family.

Relentless Love

Men often love with expectations. They love when they are loved, or they love to get something. Men pour out their love in verse, actions and attention when they are dating, or maybe when the mood (or the urge) strikes. Unfortunately, men also carry around an opinion that showing love or any emotion is connected with weakness. They portray the opinion that any husband that chooses to spend time with his wife over hanging with the boys is sissified and whipped.

Jesus taught, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44) Renegade husbands understand that if Jesus wanted us to love those who hate us, then how much more is expected of us towards our wife and family. Even in the times when we are upset, we still find and act out of relentless love towards our wife!

Furious Longing

Where do renegade husbands find the strength, vision, and encouragement to become and remain renegades? Only by daily chasing after God. How hard should you look? Remember last time you lost your wallet or credit card? A thump of panic is followed by a furious search mentally and physically combing every possible location until it is found. Proverbs 2:4 says this is EXACTLY how we are to chase after the wisdom to understanding the will of God! Daily. Furiously. Passionately. Mentally and physically searching after God’s heart for our lives and for our family!Renegade Husband

Will you join me?
Will you be a Renegade Husband?

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9 Responses to The Renegade Husband

  1. I’m in!

    I’ve learned that getting rocks thrown at you from both sides is a good indication you are close to where you should be. When one “side” stops complaining, I worry!

    • Thanks Paul!
      This post came from the my frustration at be accused of being something I’m not from both sides. I guess I should be honored rather then frustrated. 🙂

  2. I can identify the battle the enemy wages. The division of a biblical, God fearing and Jesus loving marriage is field of his choosing. I chose the gain knowledge and to apply it with wisdom. Always searching to better my walk with Him so I can better walk with her. Count me in as a renegade husband! Looking forward to learning more…..

  3. I’m with you. I’ve always preferred cutting my own path, rather than following in the footsteps of others. Besides, if people stopped throwing rocks at me, I wouldn’t know what to do.

  4. “Daily. Furiously. Passionately.” Amen!

    I’m in – determined to be both strong and good, just like Jesus!

  5. I am probably one of those that “gave up all leadership”. How I got here is a long story. This is my second marriage and my step daughter was already a teenager when we married. My own daughter lives in another state with my ex. I am a recovering porn addict. I find sharing very difficult. But most of all, I have always been very uncomfortable in a leadership position. My parents are both consummate leaders in the church and also in the community and pushed both me and my sister to follow their lead. It worked on my sister, it did not work on me. I feel like a complete leadership failure … so its easier to just withdraw and let things happen around me. I know thats not what Jesus commanded, but I don’t know or feel comfortable (let alone feel like im justified to be in a leadership position) any other way. Looking forward to any how-tos you can offer in future posts.

    Thank you for your ministry!

    • Dear Prefer not to say…
      Thanks for your comment! You are not the first man I’ve heard from that has messed up big time and now feels that they don’t have the right, ability, or position to be a leader in their home. I tell them- often they are right. Fortunately, that doesn’t mean you can not be a leader. A leader doesn’t bark orders, a leader actually doesn’t have to tell others what to do at all. Some of the best leaders, and the one that you should strive to be, is a leader in actions only. They live by the moto “Show Jesus’ love, and if I really have to use words.” They do 10 times more because they know it needs done. They act, long before it is acknowledged. Eventually, with this model you might work yourself into a position where the rest of your family looks for your leadership. Keep working on doing till they start asking for more.

      Many blessings in your journey! Keep reading more will be coming on this topic!