Kate says . . .
I remember as a child watching British TV with my grandmother. She loved the humor and now as an adult the only TV I watch is BBC. One of the shows she loved was “Are You Being Served”. If you have ever seen it you know that it was about a British department store where the workers served all kinds of customers. Some pleasant customers, some not, some odd and some funny. I think we have all known the feeling of serving someone pleasant and someone who is “less” then pleasant. Serving is an attitude of the heart and it is a commitment in the best of times and the worst of times.
I shared in a recent post that Brad and I shared a foot washing ceremony during our wedding. For us it was an intimate part of the service, where honestly everyone else faded away. We wanted to commit to serving each other in our marriage. As with many things we did and said that day, little did we comprehend what the true meaning of serving one another was.
In marriage, we have the privilege of seeing each other at our best and being there as we are at our lows. As we experience mountain tops and battlegrounds, we are together-even if we don’t feel like it. In the midst of married life, we have opportunities to serve each other. Just as we choose to love those around us, we choose to serve them too. We can choose not to serve and put our own interests first, in essence serving ourselves.
When I look back on the hardest, darkest times in our marriage, I see a pattern of serving myself first. Worrying primarily about my needs and my wants. Being frustrated with my hubby not serving me. With an open heart to serve my hubby God has shown me many things:
Serve Him First
Spending time with, and serving God first in your life will allow you to be in the right frame of mind for serving your hubby next. Keep seeking God on how he wants you to serve your hubby. Really all of our husbands are so vastly different, that to tell you how you should serve your hubby would be futile. You know his likes and dislikes, what he excels at and where he struggles. You can serve him in ways that are meaningful to him.
Serve your hubby before yourself
I have always desired to serve Brad before myself, yet I struggled greatly at times. It is part of our story that I am not proud of, but God has done a work in me. When you are having those self-centered thoughts, like “I really want to watch my favorite TV show or read my book tonight, so I will just ignore my hubby’s hints at spending time together,” remember those activities are not as important as your marriage. Remind yourself that the book or TV show will still be there tomorrow. If they aren’t, then oh well. Serving your hubby first will help you to build a home and marriage on God’s word. Seek to serve your hubby before yourself.
Serve your hubby through all of the ups and downs
It’s much easier to serve when everyone is happy and life seems good. Yet, life is not always that way and we often find ourselves struggling to serving in the chaos of life. Let’s be real: For me one of those chaos times was a time all of our kids were sick and my hubby was too. I was exhausted and with sick kids, it is easy to feel as though my hubby should fend for himself. I have learned, there is no reason I cannot split my time and serve him in his sickness. Life presents many challenges and with that many opportunities to serve, even when we don’t feel like it. Remember we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. (Philippians 4:13)
John 13:1-17 – Breath it in!
I love reading this scripture and we had our pastor read it before our foot washing ceremony. I am always struck anew with how much Jesus served and loved us. Jesus washed each disciples feet, every one of them, even with all their faults. He met then where they were at and challenged them to greatness in God, by serving them. We all have days where our hubby is grumpy and the prospect of serving him is not so wonderful. Imagine what it was like for Jesus to wash the feet of Judas, to look into his eyes and know that he would betray Him. If Jesus can do that, then I believe we can be challenged to serve our hubby’s in the worst of times. If we ask it, the Holy Spirit will provide what we need to do so.
How can you better serve your hubby and put his needs above yours? Where do you feel like you struggle the most as far as being selfish? Share ways that you have adopted a servants heart in your marriage.