A few days ago Kate posted 10 Confessions of Another Sex Positive Wife. I thought it would be fun to jump in and share a few confessions from my side of the bed. So here they are my 10 sex confessions:
Ok, I know that might not come as a shock to anyone, but I thought it would be a good place to start.
2. There are times I hit a wall.
Yes, there is a wall, I know because I’ve run into it! I have discovered that there are times when sex is not the first thing on my mind. When we were first married I told Kate, “Anywhere, anytime, even in the middle of the night, just let me know.” Now that we have an active sex life… Well let’s just say, I like my sleep too!
3. There are some times of day that just don’t work for me.
I’ve discovered that different times of the day dramatically change the whole experience. Some of them work much better then others!
4. I suggested sex to bring on the labor of our first child.
True confession time. It was 4 days after our son’s due date. Kate was restless, I was anxious. I suggested that sometimes sex will induce labor. To my surprise she said, “Sure, if it helps great!”
Well it worked! It was years later we discovered that while this method works, it has a tendency to speed up and intensify labor pain. Hmmm. Maybe that’s why her contractions started 2 minutes apart. Oops!
5. I still fight a fear of rejection when I initiate sex.
I have a wife who publicly declares that like sex, and yet I still fight a fear of being rejected when I initiate time together. I’m not alone in this area. Many guys have told me that the fear of rejection cripples their sex life, even after their wife encourages them to initiate. It’s a big issue, and one that I plan on writing more about in the future!
6. I still feel embarrassed to ask for specifics.
In “A Story of Zing 1 & Zing 2” I encouraged husbands to talk about specific sexual desires they are thinking about. Yet putting that into practice is difficult. There is a fear of rejection, but it is compounded by a fear of hearing a “euuu Yuck!” response.
This fear doesn’t only exist for things that could be considered “zings”. I’ve felt its attack when simply thinking of suggesting a specific “normal” something to do.
7. Nothing is more sexy than her enjoyment!
I wish I could crawl in her head and discover all of the thoughts, ideas, positions, things she would like to try.
The problem is that’s a guy’s brain I’m thinking about, not hers. Most women don’t think about sex in the same way we do. So the thoughts are (I’m told) more about connection, joining, and enjoying together and somewhat less about details of that time.
8. I dislike asking at all when it would be only one-sided.
Rocking her world rocks mine, and I have found that I don’t enjoy asking when I know that we won’t have an opportunity to make it mutual. I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy doing it, but I really feel awkward and uncomfortable asking.
9. I’m still very visual and really like what I see!
10. On a Menu, I choose variety!
There is nothing wrong with the usual! I like the usual! But when we have the time, energy, and imagination for variety… Wow!
Alright guys… now’s your chance. Do you have any confessions of a sex positive husband?