Kate says . . .
A bunch of women marriage bloggers that I admire very much (all a part of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association) have been sharing true confessions of being a sex positive wife. Julie at Intimacy in Marriage started this revolutionary trend and I just couldn’t resist. I am blessed to call these ladies friends and incredibly blessed to be a sex positive wife. So here is my two cents, let me know if you want change!
1. Sex gets better with age.
For us this is true! For too many years we were not on the same page about sex or God’s plan for oneness. Now we are and it just keeps getting better, even with aging issues. We’re not old, right?
2. On a Menu, I prefer to pick what I already know is good.
Take from that what you will as far as sex is concerned. I tend to go back to what I like best. 
3. We HAVE been walked in on by our child, WITH THE DOOR LOCKED!
Yup, I know you are thinking, how? They are tricky, those kids-and . . . we failed to make sure the door latched when shut! I had just asked if the door was locked, when all of a sudden there was one more person in the bedroom then we like. It was an interesting moment – yet afterwards, I sat down with our daughter and had a good talk with her. Our kids are getting used to our “mushy” marriage. We want our children to grow up with a healthy understanding of sex and a strong desire for good sex within marriage. Still we’re a big encourager of locks on your bedroom door-just make sure they click shut!!!
4. Telling me “no sex” makes me want it all the more.
Yeah, I know it sounds ridiculous. But when I am told “no” (whether actually or just feel it is off-limits) to sex for some reason, I want it all the more (doctors orders, visiting family or friends). Makes me all the more determined to find a way to share that special time with my hubby. Sounds like human nature, doesn’t it and a big reason why teens end up in sexual relationships before marriage. Hmm something to think on!
5. I never used to understand the whole Make-Up Sex thing.
When I was still upset from a fight, sex was the last thing on my mind. Yet over the past couple of years, I have challenge myself to try sex after a disagreement. Wow, now I get it! Challenge yourself to try to see how God blesses you through his design for sex.
6. I still struggle with wanting sex sometimes.
(sigh-because it is frustrating) Ahh when I allow life to overtake me, I struggle with the pull and can easily slip into forgetting to make sex and time with my hubby a priority. Thankfully we have open lines of communications about sex! Now I just say, “hey hunk, we need to find time for a little romp!” Or something to that effect.
7. I think husbands love it when we let them lead in sex.
Our hubby was designed to be a leader. I have seen wonderful positive things in stepping back in all things, including sex. Allowing him to initiate and allowing him to lead us. Nothing is more sexy than my man making his desires known to me!
8. I miss my hubby terribly when he is at work.
I really do! Not just sexually but in all ways. When he comes home I love hugging him and spending a few minutes just the two of us. If we didn’t have three kids-watch out! But we do, so that usually has to wait until later.
9. Sex is the best diet.
Yup, it’s the new sex-diet! Give it a try. When we are enjoying our one flesh connection, I find that I eat less and feel much better about myself. Generally I love who I am, but honestly ladies, I still struggle. The closeness that sex brings is a balm to my soul. The sex in marriage diet-every married couple should try it!
10. I think that the Missionary Position gets a bad rap.
Yes, it is the most common and the one we wives tend to revert to when we are not so into sex. Yet I think when re-explored it can be one of the best. Just sayin!
Come on ladies share with us a confession of yours-keep it clean and not to descriptive! 
Check back soon for Brad’s list of Confessions of a Sex Positive Husband. Seems obvious, right? Check back and see!
Check out the other sex positive wife’s posts
I have enjoyed reading all of these lists. To any wife or husband who thinks it is too late for her or his sex life to improve, your #1 is very true. The idea that great sex is only for the “young and beautiful” is a media creation, not the truth. Of course, you do have to be intentional about it and work on it, but it can be very, very good as you “age gracefully” together!
Hi GC! Thanks for writing and sharing! In my younger, niave self-I would have said sex got worse with age. Thankfully I was wrong and God has blessed us tremendously as we have gotten older. I know that in the future their will be other challenges we will face, yet I also know that with an active-healthy sex life, and with God, we can continue to share in the most special intimacy he created for just us! Thanks for sharing, Kate
I LOVED this list and I have loved seeing these blogs recently that make me feel like I’m not some crazy random wife who happens to love sex
Hubby and I have been married for 9 years and our sex is better than ever. I love #9 – so true.
I’m currently pregnant – expecting #5 (hey – I love sex remember?;) ) and starting to get in that ‘have to get creative to maneuver around my growing belly’ stage. One thing I always look forward to starting now until after baby comes, is the closeness our bodies share once the belly bulge is gone again. We definitely don’t wait the 6 weeks either
That’s far too long…
Hey Kat! Thanks for sharing and for your encouragement! Congrats on baby #5, you are like a super hero in my mind. Two pregnancies about did me it-lol. But yes I very much remember getting creative near the end about positions, and then very much enjoying that closeness again after the baby was born. I have heard many people say that waiting the 6 weeks, is more of a guideline and do what and when you feel it is best. I know with our first, I was scared to death to try sex again, yet really wanted to. With our second, I was like “how much longer do we have to wait??” Because I was so ready!
I always praise God in hearing of wives who love being a sexually positive wife! Blessings to you and your hubby! Kate
This is awesome, Kate! I think it’s interesting that we wives who love sex also admit to struggling with desiring it or making it a priority at times. I strongly believe that intentionality in the various intimacy areas of our marriages is key to keeping love alive.
By the way, we’ve also been walked in on. Boy, how quickly you can freeze, stop breathing hard, and act like nothing’s going on! And that’s what we get for having sex at the in-laws where there were no door locks. We didn’t want to wait for nookie until we got home! LOL.
Hi J! Thanks so much and thanks for helping to start this trend! So fun! I very much agree with you, that being intentional about nurturing the areas of intimacy in your marriage is the key. Sex is a huge part of that, but not the only part. Prioritizing intimacy with your hubby (sex or otherwise), I believe is being obedient to God’s word for us as wives and therefore God will bless our one flesh connection through that! So amazing.
Oh my-lol! That would so be us as well. Hmm maybe a chair against the door? Have to get creative with blocking the door or finding a secret location!
No reason to wait until you get home! 
The peacock crows at midnight. I think that was J’s secret code.
I love the missionary position, I miss my husband when he is gone, and I am guilty of forgetting how important it is to keep sex at the top of my “to do list”.
My confession would be that I love buying sexy stuff but often forget to wear it.
Hi Joyful Wife! I too love buying sexy stuff for my hubby to enjoy me in and out of!
Love it, thanks for sharing! Kate
We have found that I finish with the best in missionary and then switch to doggie … whatever works
with my hubby recently having blood pressure issues and having to take Vitamin V to help him along … we have been made to be a little more creative with each other and probably just as important more patient and understanding … communication is key … I tend to have the higher drive in our relationship and with us dairy farming and hubby working his tail off I hate to “pester him” after he’s done baling hay or something like that in the heat … but he says that’s what the AC in the bedroom is for 
Sandra darlin’,
Being an old married man with high blood pressure and an occassional uncooperative member, I feel pretty certain about this opinion: When he says, “that’s what the AC in the bedroom is for,” he is telling you he would like you to feel free to initiate when the mood strikes you. I suspect he cannot always read your desire level as you may suppose he can after all those married years and he too does not want to be “pester” you either. How sad it is that we married couples do not feel comfortable asking for sexual pleasure from our partners. My wife and I are starting to get past that with no small amout of concious effort, although tonight was a bummer. We had really good sex last night during which I made her desires the focus of the evening, and yes, we both had orgasm. Tonight she caught “that look” in my eyes I guess and said, “You don’t want sex again tonight, do you?” I knew she was tired after church so I just smiled and said , “No.” Why didn’t I just tell her a quickie hj or bj would be fine with me without a lot of sweating and tiring effort on her part? Had I made my desire known, she would have happily taken care of me I’m sure.
One point is, you possibly have not because you ask not. Another other point, don’t phrase the sex question negatively at the front end. “You don’t want sex (again)do you” is heard as “I hope you don’t want sex because I don’t really want to do it now.” Try asking can we have sex today and see how many times you hear “No” from him. I am not saying the lack of adequate sex is directly your fault, I’m just pointing out how easy it is to inadvertently miss one another’s bids for intimacy, sexual or otherwise with something as simple as syntax or inflection. Had my wife asked if there was anything she could do for me tonight, she would have gotten a totally different response. Knowing her as I do, she would have felt willing, even though tired, because of my attentions the night before. And no, I’m not talking tit for tat here. I just know she would have done for me as I did for her because of the quality of our relationship.
If you even get a hint he wants it, beat him to the punch and ask if he would like to share some pleasure with you…..soon. I think you’ll see he’s serious about that AC.
Hi Dave, I know what you mean he never knows when or if to approach me … he’s NEVER been turned down so he doesn’t have that to worry about … I did post three different colored papers on the wall … red, yellow and green … quite obvious …
it was a little odd to try and explain to the kids just what that was on the wall for … they still don’t know thankfully … lol … but with him needing Vitamin V (viagra) occasionally and at the cost of the pills $20 PER pill and money is tight around here .. .we dairy farm … lol … we don’t wanna waste it either … but lately he hasn’t needed it all which is wonderful and I so missed the spontaneity that we lost from when he went on the blood pressure meds 
So things have been much better lately … not that it got bad so much as it had changed so much from what we were used to … and after 21 years … why fix something that isn’t broken as they say? 
Thank you so much for this post! I was able to find some other great blogs on sexual intimacy to read along with yours.
I definitely enjoy sex more now than I did a year ago. My husband and I had sex (with each other) before marriage and a lot of times we would wonder what happened when we got married. It seemed like we were randy college kids but when we said “I do” that disappeared. Then we had a baby. Titus is a huge blessing but pregnancy and nursing pretty much kill my sex drive. Then whatever is left is easily shoved aside because of exhaustion.
God got my attention though and convicted me of my selfishness. So what if I wasnt “in the mood”. I never really was. I couldn’t wait for that rare magical moment to jump my hubby and think he was going to feel loved and be satisfied. Now we’ve had another baby since but this time around I made the commitment to say “yes” more often than not. I’m in the mood more than I used to be but it’s still not where I want it to be. However I’m going to keep loving my man and we will work out the kinks and I know God will bless that!
Hi Kate! Thanks you SO much for sharing this! I believe that many wives (including myself) can see themselves in what you have shared. Having young ones is a hard time, especially for making time for intimacy. Yet if we do, as you did, we will be blessing our hubby’s and our marriage in ways unmeasureable! Not to mention being obediant to God’s word for us as wives. I believe that obedience brings blessing! Keep going girl and God will go with you! Blessings to you and your hubby! Kate
[...] few days ago Kate posted 10 Confessions of Another Sex Positive Wife. I thought it would be fun to jump in and share a few confessions from my side of the bed. So here [...]
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Just wait until your kids are all away at university and you don’t have your period anymore! It’s great! I’m only 47 and I haven’t had a period for almost a year. Our kids are almost gone from home (last one to school in September) and it is even better than ever with age! We trust each other more and we are much more relaxed with the kids not draining so much of our energy!
Hi KS! I CANNOT wait! lol! Truly! Yet I try not to wish my kids time with us away, God has them with us for this time for His purposes. But I do daydream of a time when it will be just my beloved and myself. Our children are supposed to be with us for a “time” or a season and our hubby’s are to be with us for life! I also look forward to a time when there is no more period, yet hope my transition is smooth!
Thanks for sharing and giving us a glimpse of a healthy, happy marriage with many years behind them! Blessings to you and your hubby! Kate
Ok, this is so weird. Like I’m loving the blog but my mouth is maybe just a bit hanging open.
But I love you blog and will be back!
Not the talking about sex part, but that you enjoy it and share that. So many times women I’m around talk about “saying No” and all that. It annoys me, because in our marriage sex has gotten way better than it was at first. But I want it more than my hubby. Why is that? Why is it that he doesn’t want me but every 1 – 2 weeks? Totally befudles me. Everything I read talks about the woman giving to the man even when she don’t want to. What about when the man don’t want to? He loves to cuddle, (maybe I should be happy with that, because that is a huge complaint with others) but past the cuddling, that’s it usually.
Sorry, I just realized I may have written a book here
Oh Kendra, I hear ya girl … I went through this with my hubby recently, he had no idea how much I needed/wanted him … much more than he needed/wanted me and thus it would make me feel insecure or even rejected … which was NOT his intent … he’s just tired, we dairy farm on 200 acres nuff said … lol … so he makes a VERY concious effort to engage me as often as I need/want him to … and with me having some health issues (until I got my gallbladder out in April) he was unsure as to whether to approach or not since he never knew how I was feeling … it used to fluctuate sometimes hourly … stupid gallbladder … he-he … and now he needs to take Vitamin V (Viagra, code name around here) not all the time but sometimes … and it’s not cheap $20 per PILL with NO insurance coverage for it … so we have to be mindful of if he takes it then we need to make sure it doesn’t go to waste
We’ve been married almost 22 years now and I wouldn’t trade him for another in the world … but you have to open up that mouth of yours and talk to him and tell him, share with him how much you need/want that with him maybe he just doesn’t know … they cant read our minds … keep us posted … also perhaps he needs a check up at the doc’s … a lack of libido NOT lack of interest could be a physical problem worth checking out … keep in touch 
I’ve been there and know how hard it is to feel like the horn-dog in the house … lol … e-mail me 
SandraHoutz@aol.com
Hi Sandra! Thanks so much for sharing and encouraging! I am so blessed to be a part of this with all your wives out there! Blessings to you and your hubby! Kate
Love your posts
Thanks Sandra! Appreciate you too! Very much! Blessings, Kate
Hi Kendra! Thanks so much for writing and sharing! I am sure you are not the first, nor the last who will find themselves like a deer caught in headlights as I talk about my love for sexual intimacy. That being said, that does not mean I don’t struggle to be in the “mood” sometimes. Life gets busy as I am sure you know!
You are not alone in being the higher drive spouse, we have many wives who write to us about such. We have done several post on the subject, because it is a very real issue out there. We think that talking openly about these issues and God’s design for sexual intimacy in marriage is so important. The church (the body of believers) is where marriages should be able to go for good information that is biblically sound as well as get help when needed. So that is our heart. Please know that you are not alone in the dynamic of desire you have in your marriage. I am not sure if you have read any of our posts that we have written on the subject, but I will put them all at the bottom of this message. It is hard to start a conversation with your spouse when you feel that your intimacy time is not enough. But doing so will grow your communication and allow you to be open and honest in the future. To be honest, it is still hard to bring up intimacy issues with my hubby, but afterwards I am so glad that I did. Talking from your heart is the best! Check out our posts I Can’t Remember The Last Time my Husband Touched Me
I Can’t Remember The Last Time My Husband Touched Me – Part 2
The Sexless Marriage Trap
He’s Lost That Loving Feeling
“He’s Lost That Loving Feeling Part 2
Feel free to Email Me if you have any questions.
Know that we are praying for you! Blessings to you and your hubby! Kate
Kate, you are so right about couples talking about intimacy and sexual issues with one another. It takes practice and usually a lot of time. I gauge my topics I discuss with my wife carefully. I am a sensualist I have figured out after much reading and studying. As such, I am more open to experimentation, variety, and seeking of pleasure than some others. My wife, however, is a closet sensualist. I can only say, it takes one to spot one. It takes longer of her inhibitions to subside and for her to openly and freely receive pleasure. So, I don’t rush discussions with her or try to push her faster than she is willing to go.
I bring this up because sometimes you may communicate well with your mate, but not necessarily as deeply or honestly as you might wish because of fear of rejection, being perceived as “over-sexed” (whatever that would mean), or as placing unrealistic or uncomfortable demands upon your wife/husband. Like it’s not enough that we are so different as men and women, but we have to deal with differences within the differences. Who say God doesn’t have a sense of humor, or perhaps irony in this case.
It takes much trust and a willingness to be your most vulnerable when exposing your sexual belly to your mate. One ill-timed visual or verbal slip can shut done honest communication and limit the intimacy, sexual and otherwise, between the two of you.
Please keep honestly posting ladies. I want to learn to be the best husband I can and an open forum like this a great help. I will respond honestly also for my part. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Dave2! Thanks so much for writing and sharing. There is much wisdom in what you have shared. Communication is the key as we say, but there are levels to communication. It is like a road map, communication can shoot off here and there. It is so easy to misunderstand each other, to not tell wholy what is on our hearts, to share only part of what we need to-the list goes on and on! It is tricky business! Yet, we have learned in our marriage that practice and being comfortable with each other is huge. Do I still get nervous when sharing something, that makes me vulnerable (specifically issues about sex)? YES!!! But I also know from expereince what happens when we sit in silence and put another brick in the wall we are building! I choose to overcome my fear and talk to me sweet hubby. Afterwards I am always glad I did.
I so appreciate you talking about how cautious you are! A husband who has studied his wife and is sensative to her, is a very awesome thing! I am sure your wife appreciates that more then she can say!
Thank you for sharing openly and honestly! We greatly appreciate it! Blessings, Kate
[...] 4. 10 Confessions of Another Sex-Positive Wife from Kate at One Flesh Marriage [...]
I love your comment about your kids walking in and that leading to some honest conversations about sex! I just want to encourage your readers to not let that be the only reason they have those important conversations. My husband and I have only been married for two and a half months. We were together in an ungodly relationship that began two and a half years ago and ended with unfaithfulness. We were encouraged to spend some time apart by our ministers to focus on pleasing God with how we live our life than on pleasing ourself and had ended our relationship when I discovered that I was pregnant. It was really a God-send!) After we spent that time with God (literally over a year apart), God healed us, set us free of some of many issues from our past relationships, and brought reconciliation to our broken relationship. I can attest while-heartedly to the fact that sex the way God intended, in a covenant marriage relationship, is the most amazing sex that exists!! Take it from someone who tried it the world’s way, God’s way is BETTER, more rewarding, so connecting, it is like night and day difference! We are both around 40 years old, and have just discovered what God created us for, and loving every minute of it!! If you have children, talk to them, be HONEST about sex, tell them how amazing it will be in marriage. And tell them how you read a comment from a girl who lived her life doing things the world’s way and how it left her feeling used, unloved, damaged, dirty, guilty, shameful, and unloveable, and how she still, even after God has healed and restored, can tell you that of all the regrets, my strongest is that I could not give my husband the gift of myself fit the first time or say he is the only one I ever knew. Those past relationships that I thought would make me feel so good haunt my mind, the things of the past are always there, because as humans we can never completely forget, and the memories pop up from time to time, bringing with them all the ugliness they originally brought, and causing me to again take it to The Lord to remember that I am forgiven. But it never goes away completely. Choices have consequences. Encourage your children to wait, so that they can have all that God has for them!!! If we can be real with our children at appropriate ages about sex and it’s purpose, consequences, and the struggles they will face, fight against the view of sex the world gives, and equip them with the knowledge and wisdom to make good choices, I believe we can see more of the next generation entering marriage able to gift their spouse with the most amazing gift! I am proof that He will restore, but I hope that our children never have to experience that restoration personally!
Thanks so much for sharing TFox! I appreciate you sharing your story with us. God will use your openness and story for his will! We are the only opportunity for our kids to see what a healthy one flesh marriag truly is! Lets be open, honest and transparent! Blessings, Kate