One person can start a change in a marriage that moves it from blah to amazing! I know because my wife did and it made all the difference.
Our story from a marriage on the rocks, to a good-ish marriage to a great marriage was a journey that occurred in stages. The changes didn’t all happen at one time, or by one person leading the change. However, the last jump from good to great happened when Kate when deep with God, and committed to cling to our marriage!
When this change happened she didn’t announce it to me, or let me know that the change was taking place. She just did. She followed what God was telling her, and I was the happy recipient! (You can read more about Kate’s side of this change in Our Story)
I noticed the big changes and the little changes.
- I noticed that she was going out of her way to do things special for me, like make me coffee in the morning, and even packing my lunch for me.
- I noticed that she was making a point to ask about my day, and even in the midst of a very stressful time for her she was concerned about all I was doing.
- I noticed that she would ask me things like, “what can I pray for you today?”
- I noticed that she went out of her way to make sure that we had time together.
- I noticed that we were having sex, A LOT!
As she made all of those changes, I couldn’t help but make changes too! I absolutely ate up the extra attention (who wouldn’t, and Kate makes GREAT coffee.) I happily turned off the TV for the alternatives that Kate had in mind!
I found that we were spending more and more positive time together and I loved it! I almost didn’t want to ask what changed, for risk of bursting the awesome bubble that we were in.
Change In Stages
I don’t want to give the false impression that everything changed all at once because Kate did these awesome things. Changes in our marriage came in stages as God worked on each of us to give up areas of selfishness that were holding us back from the one flesh marriage He designed for us. God had made me ready to receive the next changes he had in store for our marriage. I was receptive, and I think that Kate would say, quick to reciprocate with changes that she needed too!
Is God tugging at your heart to start a change in your marriage? I wanted to write this post specifically to give you hope that making a change alone can change your marriage forever! When Kate started praying that dangerous prayer, “God break my heart for what breaks Yours” God used her openness to show her ways to change our marriage. Her obedience helped us go from good to awesome!
It was several months after this change that the idea of this blog started with a single conversation after I asked, “If we were to tell someone else what happened, what changed our marriage what would we say?”
I hope that you will step out in prayer, step out in faith and step out on a journey to a better marriage!
Please let us know how we can pray for you if you are on this journey alone to together!
If you have taken the journey what did you notice that your spouse did?
Or what did you do that got your spouses attention?