Kate says . . .
I remember a time when I was consumed with sad thoughts about our marriage. I was not sure where we were headed, but it certainly seemed bleak at best. There were days I could think of nothing else. Have you ever had those times in your marriage when your thoughts seem to run away with you? Perhaps they are fears, past hurts or worries. You might be familiar with this verse:
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34
I have always loved this verse and yet for many years, I did not listen to it or do what it says. I know that it can be very hard to stop worrying about things in life. Yet, I have also learned that worrying really never does any good. Not only does it not do any good, it keeps you living in a spirit of fear. Fear becomes the motivator and the means of making decisions. When we live in worry and eventually fear, we are held captive.
Held Captive To Taking Captive
If someone hurt us, we can struggle with thoughts and fears until they become crippling. It is normal to experience emotions, to be sad, angry or disappointed at times. These are normal emotions, but at some point it becomes our job to take our thoughts captive. We have a choice to grab a hold of our thoughts and work to change them, or to allow ourselves to be held captive by them.
Perhaps you are not a worrier but before you dismiss this take a long look at yourself honestly. I know I can see my tendencies to allow worry to take a hold of me. Just like hubby’s having the weight of providing for their family on their shoulders, wives have the weight of the health of their family on our shoulders. Not just physical health, but emotional, and intellectual health as well. This stress can add to our worry, fear and lead us to a path of giving in to emotions.
I have been thinking a great deal about “taking thoughts captive” and in talking with others developed ways to stop my runaway thoughts.
Capturing Run Away Thoughts . . .
Write it down
Writing down exactly what is bombarding your thoughts can be a huge release. Writing it back into perspective. Naturally, when we worry and let our minds go, we run down many different “what if” bunny trails. When we put the facts down on paper, we can deal with what is real and what is at this point speculation. Pray over what you have written down.
When you catch yourself going down those trails, stop, take a breath and pray. God has promised that when we call on him he will answer, when we draw near to him, he will draw near to us. He will never leave us or forsake us, not matter how hard the circumstances are that we are facing on earth. Does that mean he will make it “all better”? No! God never promised that we wouldn’t face hard times, only that he would be with us through it all. We talk a great deal about prayer here, but truly we can never seek and lean on the Lord enough!
Talk to your hubby
Whether the worry involves him or not, talk to him about it. It is hard to be vulnerable and do so in the beginning, but once you make it a part of your daily marriage, you will find you cannot function without it. Share what your worries are. Even share with him what you wrote down. Own up to your part in the worrying. Ask his thoughts on how to move forward.
Do you need a plan?
There may be some situations where developing a plan in necessary. For example if your worries are about not having time alone with your hubby. Look at schedules and coming up with a plan for time with each other. If your worries are financial, coming up with a plan, budget or seeking out resources such a Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover are good things to do. I feel strongly that this plan should include your husband’s thoughts, even if he is not directly involved. He will then know what you are worrying about and will be able to help.
If we allow fear and worry to rule our lives, we become a slave to them. No matter if they started out a legitimate concern or not. Don’t allow those thoughts to rule your life and direct your path. Take those thoughts captive!
Are you a worrier? How have you learned to deal with your worry? Do you feel that fear propels your life? Share with us your journey!