Confessions of a Christian Sex Toy Shop Owner

Sherry from Hookin’ Up Holy! says…

“Why sex toys?” That’s what my husband asked me when I first came to him with the idea to open an online sex toy shop. “Why can’t you sell shoes or something?” But he knew this would not just be a source of income, it would be a ministry.

The truth is, the sexual part of our marriage was always low on the list of priorities for me. I attended a private Christian high school and I vividly remember a talk our dorm mother did one day on sex and marriage. She told us that sex is only about 5% of a marriage. That stuck with me. I don’t know if she meant it like that, but I took it to mean that sex held about 5% importance in a marriage and I should give it about 5% of my time, thought and effort. Tragically, that is a lie I believed for the first 15 or so years of my marriage.

Our married sex life started out OK but it was never earth-shattering for me. Over the years, I didn’t refuse very often, but I did not enjoy sex and he knew it. I did it out of duty. Not surprisingly, our marriage was not a very good one, and we both seemed to settle for that. But eventually it got to a point where we decided things had to change. We tried a marriage seminar, a few different marriage courses at church, Christian counselling and several wonderful marriage books… all with great, godly principles, but none of which helped us for very long. Old habits soon returned.Hookin-Up-Holy

One day, in my Google search for something Christian – can’t remember what – I came across the Christian Nymphos site. The name intrigued me and I clicked on it. I read a bit, actually quite surprised by some of the topics, and then moved on. But I kept coming back to it. Day after day, I would read a little more. Some days I spent a couple of hours or more. I couldn’t believe the freedom these women had!! I became envious of that and wanted it for myself. I began to feel as if I was missing out on something great that God wanted me to have. As I prayed on it, the Lord led me to scriptures, websites and books on sex. I became obsessed with reading about it, learning about it. I knew I wasn’t supposed to refuse my husband but it had never occurred to me that not enjoying it might be a sin! I began to see my attitude toward it as disrespectful to God and to my husband. I decided to make a change.

I went to my husband and told him I wanted to jump start our sex life and I was going to a sex toy store to find something that might help. I knew I needed a jump start – baby steps weren’t going to work! He was surprised, happy, hopeful and understandably apprehensive. I made my first purchase and that was the beginning of a new and exciting world for both of us!

The change that I did not expect was in the rest of our marriage. I could not believe it. It changed overnight. Our attitudes toward each other softened and our walls came down. It was a miracle. I credit that change to God, of course, and to sex.

Since my sexual awakening (or slap in the face, as I like to call it), it has been my goal to help other women find the sexual freedom that I have found. I think it is unfortunate and sinful when we settle for less than God has for us.

As to why I would consider a sex toy shop to be a ministry… well, when I first began buying toys, I went to a local sex toy shop with pornography and nudity galore. I did not like it and felt very uncomfortable and wasn’t sure if my being there was honoring to God. I began to think about opening an online store with no porn or nudity so people like us had somewhere safe to shop. In my research, I came across the Hookin’ Up Holy site and it was for sale. My husband came on board pretty quickly and the rest is history. It’s our prayer that all who use it will be blessed in their marriage bed.

Thanks to Brad and Katie for allowing us to share our testimony! God bless.

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11 Responses to Confessions of a Christian Sex Toy Shop Owner

  1. Thank’s for sharing your testimony I agree with what you said,that we settle for less God has for us.

  2. Thanks for stepping up, Sherry! It’s a weird and wonderful area of ministry that requires a very special kind of person… I’m glad you said “yes.” 🙂
    Aloha, {Happy}

  3. OMG where were you guys before when I was in a passionless marriage and scorned for wanted more. Treated like a pervert, told to pray to curb my high but normal sex drive for my hubby. He was so gorgeous & attractive to me and I was enthusiastic and loving him. I always had more of a drive than him, but then he started wanting less and less, no kissing during sex, and the act was fast with no follow up to please me, oh it was lonely and I knew it could be better. He had Ed issues, and very low testosterone, and rather than get help, or pursue more help when the first treatments didn’t work, he let this part of our marriage just die. I will be referring this site to others. I never wanted or loved anyone else, but ended up cheating, I was like a really needy puppy, after a while,I think men could just sense my neglect and neediness. I was so wanting some love and attention, affection, feeling desired and wanted and was just getting the cold shoulder, and turned down from my own husband. It was humilating. Painful. I started an extramarital sexual relationship, maybe 4x with that person, never loved the person but desperately wanted sex, fun sex, playful sex, silly sex, passionate sex, desire… I ruined everything. Keep this up, this blog and the openness and all of you try and have fun together, play and have pleasure from each other, its all good right? the marriage bed is undefiled, I can’t believe I am divorced and still missing the man I loved more than anyone.

  4. Thanks so much! I ditto your article. My husband has wanted to use toys to spice things up a bit – I was very reluctant. Growing up in a Christian household I always thought those things are dirty. Now i am more willing to use those with my hubby! Spread the word to those Christian Women out there! TOYs are OK… (with and without your hubby) I cannot believe i wrote this!

    • Sex toys are are fine with your spouse but not ok when used by yourself. That is called self gratification and that is wrong.

  5. I also run a small online Christian friendly sex toy store. My wife and I like to occasionally play with sex toys, but we always felt “dirty” while shopping for them. That’s when we decided to open our own shop that reflects our Christian values.

    I think Christian couples are starting to become more open to sex toys and “Christian friendly” sex toy stores are a great thing. The toys and views that are promoted on some of the sex toy shops out there are disgusting.

    Critics of “Christian friendly” sex toy stores have a lot to say about this topic. What they don’t understand is the difference between a Christian and non-Christian sex toy store is not that we carry toys made specifically for Christians, but in the presentation of the toys and content of the site.

  6. These are just a few of the questions we have heard over the years about sex toys and the concerns women and men have about them. Thanks for sharing.

  7. Thanks for sharing! My partner and I started using sex toys and it is just great. She doesn’t like the idea of a female sex toy but we gave a male masturbator a try and quite surprisingly she probably loves it more than I do.
    Thanks again.

  8. I think it’s great that the acceptance of sex toys can be communicated in such a positive and accepting way. Yes, it’s true that many people look at the idea of using these toys with disapproval, but the reality is that sex toys can be an excellent aid to bring two people closer together in the bedroom and in life. Sexuality and sexual satisfaction are two very important parts to a any healthy relationship. That’s the same reason why we set up an online store for women, with a focus on bringing awareness and acceptance to this in a safe and positive environment. Thanks for sharing this article. Andrea.

  9. Thank you for sharing your experience, particularly because it is of such a private (yet common) personal matter. I read your story with mixed emotions because it is wonderfully insightful and helpful, however, the knowledge gained from this experience comes too late for me. The lack of intimacy, especially mutually exciting love making, is a necessary mutual experience and bond unlike any other. Thank you.

  10. I have been thinking about opening a sex toy store in my locality, but have been really troubled about the reaction of my church and the natives, i am a christian but always wonder why the topic is always swept under the carpet even by the church when several marriages are hitting the rock everyday.
    so i decided to Google “opening an online sex store” and came across this site.
    Thank you for sharing, it’s very enlightening.