4 Ways To See More Lingerie

Kate says . . .

If you love lingerie and wondered why your wife is not as enthusiastic as you are, you are not alone. If you totally got all that Brad was saying in his last post, Why Men Love Lingerie, I assure you are you are not alone. Before I reveal the four ways you can see more lingerie you need to understand why most wives are reluctant. I am a wife and I am “for” lingerie and yet at the same time, I completely understand the hang ups women have with lingerie and I have battled with them myself. So while I am all for it and indulge my hubby, I also know why women aren’t all fired up like you husbands are.

Some of our “hang ups”husband&Wife

It’s Expensive

It is hard for many wives to invest in a piece of clothing that is used less then your daily clothing and costs twice as much. That being said, there are probably many wives out there that have stuff in their closets that isn’t worn very much, so at least the lingerie has the plus if blessing your hubby. Remember you don’t have to own a closet full, though I am sure your hubby would love that!

It’s not “Comfy” or “Easy” to Throw on

“Throwing” on something “comfortable” isn’t either of those things! Some of the outfits that look sexy on a mannequin, are not all that comfortable on your wife. I am not talking yoga pants comfy here, I am talking comfy enough that the itchy lace or confining corset won’t allow your mind to think about anything else. Trust me guys it is a discipline.

It’s not always easy to find lingerie that fits

It doesn’t matter what body type you are, often lingerie does not fit the way it fits a lifeless mannequin! So searching and finding the right piece of sexy fun, might take some time. Also it can be very frustrating and discouraging for wives who want to wear sexy lingerie for their hubby and are having this issue. Be an encourager, not just of the lingerie, but of your wife. Encourage her and tell her often how sexy you think she is. Love her, serve her and touch her in ways that say, I love you no matter what! These things will help tremendously in her feeling so loved that no matter what she wears!

More Skin – More Self-Conscious

The truth of the matter is that the more skin we show, the more self-conscious we become. It all started with Adam and Eve, so let’s blame it on them. Seriously though, we are easily ashamed of our nakedness, something that God intended to be pure and beautiful is very distorted and misused in our society. If you guys are honest, I would imagine there are times you are self-conscious with your bodies as well. For women it is much more of an issue and really can be crippling. Can it be overcome and is God’s desire for women to be sexually confident with their husbands? Yes, it takes time, reassurance from their husband, and it takes something you hubby’s can’t do an understanding of how much God loves us no matter what!

4 Things we need from you:

1. Verbal Affirmation

This is the number one things I hear from wives; they would wear more lingerie, if they didn’t feel like a piece of meat when they do. They want to feel cherished and adored. While I totally get that a husband wants to ravish his wife, when she is dressed in an enticing lingerie, take your time and love her with your words, looks and touch first. Seeking to show your wife how much you love and adore her daily, will help more then anything else you could do as a husband.

2. Know her Preferences

What hubby doesn’t like to surprise his wife with a piece of lingerie? I honestly think that is great! Just keep in mind her likes and dislikes. Doing so will be an encouragement to her and allow her to be comfortable.

Wives: That all being said, it is great for you to know what your hubby’s likes and . . . “really” likes. You might not be ready to go all out, but you could change up the color, style or texture. Be aware of what he likes and either going for it or gradually working that way, is an incredible blessing to your hubby. It blesses him visually, tells him how much you desire him and how important sex and being sexy for him means to you as well.

3. Wrapping our minds around sex is one thing, wrapping it around sex with lingerie is a whole nother ball game!

Imagine that dressing in lingerie is like getting ready for the formal dinner you have to attend. Some women may love getting dressed up while others loathe it.Yet the fact still remains, it takes time and we don’t want to look like a frumpy women covered in lace and satin. So thinking that we might just throw it on in 2 minutes is a bit unrealistic most times. Do whatever you can to give your wife a little extra help and time so she can spend some time getting ready. It is an immense help and really speaks volumes to how much you value your wife and not just the outfit she is in! You want us to take the time-do whatever you can to give us the time!

4. Lingerie is not a one way street

The last thing I want to mention to all the lingerie lovin hubby’s out there is this – Lingerie is a two way street. No I am not suggesting cross dressing! Yet there are ways you can dress sexy for your wife. Not just sexy clothes, though those are really nice. If you’re not sure where to start, just deviate from the everyday undies, whatever that may be for you. Though women are not as visual as men, we are still visual and we like to enjoy the view. It also blesses us in that you were thinking of us and dressing just for us. It’s a two way street!

So guys, what do you think? How about the ladies, have I left something out? Would love to hear your thoughts and get a lingerie discussion going!

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18 Responses to 4 Ways To See More Lingerie

  1. Wonderful article. One thing I would suggest – if a husband wants to buy his wife lingerie, give it a “feel” test. Run the inside of the item over a sensitive part of your body, like the underside of your forearm. Be sure to check at the seams. Is it itchy or scratchy? Many cheaper items are. If so, please pass. That’s her tender body it will be scratching, and that’s the last thing you want!

    • Yes, it’s an investment for something worth while, no cheapies.
      It’s probably easier for him to justify this purchase than myself, I would hesitate to spend. It would be nice for him to either spend on this if he wants or give me a gift card or permission to do so.

  2. To which I will reply.. yes all the above! .. And, my often solution was get naked! Ron would always go to bed a little ahead of me- usually tired and I’m usually still working finishing up for the day and really hard for me to unwind and ‘perform’ so to speak. So usually, I would let him get a little rest telling him I’ll be in soon .. take my time – make myself feel and look more human.. get naked and then slip under the covers and close as I could get to him…the rest… ’nuff said! .. It works or rather it worked (the negligee’s never stayed on long enough anyway and my misshapen form made it even harder to find something that fit..-plus it really saved some money which I didn’t have for such luxuries!).. now all I do is dream and wait for the day when he will return be it God’s will .. I miss his touch…

    • Hi Karen,

      I am sorry to hear that you and your husband are not in a place for this blessing right now. Keep holding on the the hope and love that only Jesus can give. My heart breaks for you, but I rejoice in the fact that God has never once left you alone during all of this. I am lifting you up right now! Kate

    • Ahh, yes! Subconscious would be a whole other issue! 🙂 Definitely not what I was trying to say. Thanks! Kate

  3. If lingerie is such a challenge, it’s amazing that retailers sell billions of dollars worth of the stuff every year. I know you are addressing hang-ups that wives have, but somehow my wife went 7 years without wearing any, which is an absurdly long time to nurse a hang-up. Especially considering she hasn’t gained a pound since high school. I know “it’s hard”, but life is full of doing hard things, on a daily basis. Maybe just realize your hubby likes it and pretend you are back in your first year of marriage when you actually had fun showing off for him.

    • Hi RickM, I hear you and the pain behind your words. Unfortunatly, I don’t think 7 years is a long time for a hangup, many women and men struggle with things for years and want freedom. The reality is that being sub conscious is something we need freedom from. Low self-esteem as well. I like to encourage wives to step out, to grow in their relationship with Jesus and seek Him as they seek to be the wife God desires for them to be, that includes being a sexually confident wife. Telling a women that life is hard, so just buck up and wear the lingerie, while that should work for many things in life that we know we should do-it usually does not work. The biggest sexual organ we all have is our head and it is also the hardest organ to deal with. It honestly breaks my heart to hear the pain in your words. The only thing you can do as a husband is, pray for your wife and seek to be the husband God asks of you, regardless of whether or not your wife deserves it. Hard, but the only thing you can do, because you can’t change her. Know that I am lifting you and your wife up right now! Blessings, Kate

  4. Thanks for an amazing post. I have a couple ideas for the ladies and their hubbies.
    Take your DH shopping- make a date- shop for lingerie together! Then have a modeling show

    When you are shopping ( I do weekly shopping sometimes at Walmart or Target)- Take a quick trip through the lingerie aisle- take pics- send them to hubs phone.
    Or if you have seen something at the local department store- go to their website then if you have an amazon wishlist- put it on your Amazon wishlist via the app that allows you to do just that. That way hubby can find and get the exact one that you like.
    Kate- you are so right- I love my husband in something different than the same old same old underwear so guys spice it up will you!

  5. Love this Kate! When my husband and I got married, I had a different outfit for every night in some colors I knew he’d enjoy. Most of them were gifts, but unfortunately, since I wasn’t used to wearing them, many pieces were extremely uncomfortable. Now I can only fit in one of the original pieces.

    I do actually enjoy dressing up “sexily” for my husband, BUT I want to wear a piece that makes me feel confident and beautiful (that flatters my body type), and that’s comfortable. I never buy something unless I absolutely love it in the store and I know it comfortably fits. I appreciate it when my husband gives me extra time to get ready instead of “pouncing” before I’m finished. I also like being able to wear the piece a little longer than the 10 seconds it takes to get out of them. Neither one of us is always patient in this department, but he certainly appreciates the visual foreplay! But I definitely agree with you on the two-way street. I really appreciate it when my husband is willing and open to be “sexy” for me, and when he takes the extra time to brush his teeth and spritz on some cologne before we’re intimate. Makes the whole experience so much better!

  6. HEE HEE I love wearing lingerie but My husband never wants to see it on me so I gave it all to goodwill. 🙁

    • I know that is so hard, Maria! Know that you are not alone and that I am lifting you up right now! Blessings, Kate

  7. I would like to add to your hang up list. I did not have a problem with lingerie until I realized how much my husband struggled with pornography. They it became a mind issue of is he really locking and enjoying me or is he seeing some fantasy from one of the things he looked at earlier? Gods grace is sufficient and we have good communication on the issue. But the difference to me is when I really know that his love and effection is for me and me alone.

    • Hi Chelsea, I can totally understand that! I think you are right, the key is talking about it. I think there can be a time where those who struggle with pornography, just drop all of that kind of stuff for a time. Kinda like cleaning out the system. Keep sex and intimacy all about the two of you. And yet that is something that needs to be talked about together. You are so right, that God’s grace is sufficient! Blessings to you and your hubby! Kate

  8. My wife looks great in lingerie, but she thinks it’s a pain. One thing I really enjoy is helping her get dressed that is as much fun for her as me,not only is it eye candy but hand candy as well, men if you help and complement while helping its much more fun and takes longer so end results more enjoyment for both.