Kate says . . .
If you love lingerie and wondered why your wife is not as enthusiastic as you are, you are not alone. If you totally got all that Brad was saying in his last post, Why Men Love Lingerie, I assure you are you are not alone. Before I reveal the four ways you can see more lingerie you need to understand why most wives are reluctant. I am a wife and I am “for” lingerie and yet at the same time, I completely understand the hang ups women have with lingerie and I have battled with them myself. So while I am all for it and indulge my hubby, I also know why women aren’t all fired up like you husbands are.
It is hard for many wives to invest in a piece of clothing that is used less then your daily clothing and costs twice as much. That being said, there are probably many wives out there that have stuff in their closets that isn’t worn very much, so at least the lingerie has the plus if blessing your hubby. Remember you don’t have to own a closet full, though I am sure your hubby would love that!
It’s not “Comfy” or “Easy” to Throw on
“Throwing” on something “comfortable” isn’t either of those things! Some of the outfits that look sexy on a mannequin, are not all that comfortable on your wife. I am not talking yoga pants comfy here, I am talking comfy enough that the itchy lace or confining corset won’t allow your mind to think about anything else. Trust me guys it is a discipline.
It’s not always easy to find lingerie that fits
It doesn’t matter what body type you are, often lingerie does not fit the way it fits a lifeless mannequin! So searching and finding the right piece of sexy fun, might take some time. Also it can be very frustrating and discouraging for wives who want to wear sexy lingerie for their hubby and are having this issue. Be an encourager, not just of the lingerie, but of your wife. Encourage her and tell her often how sexy you think she is. Love her, serve her and touch her in ways that say, I love you no matter what! These things will help tremendously in her feeling so loved that no matter what she wears!
More Skin – More Self-Conscious
The truth of the matter is that the more skin we show, the more self-conscious we become. It all started with Adam and Eve, so let’s blame it on them. Seriously though, we are easily ashamed of our nakedness, something that God intended to be pure and beautiful is very distorted and misused in our society. If you guys are honest, I would imagine there are times you are self-conscious with your bodies as well. For women it is much more of an issue and really can be crippling. Can it be overcome and is God’s desire for women to be sexually confident with their husbands? Yes, it takes time, reassurance from their husband, and it takes something you hubby’s can’t do an understanding of how much God loves us no matter what!
4 Things we need from you:
1. Verbal Affirmation
This is the number one things I hear from wives; they would wear more lingerie, if they didn’t feel like a piece of meat when they do. They want to feel cherished and adored. While I totally get that a husband wants to ravish his wife, when she is dressed in an enticing lingerie, take your time and love her with your words, looks and touch first. Seeking to show your wife how much you love and adore her daily, will help more then anything else you could do as a husband.
2. Know her Preferences
What hubby doesn’t like to surprise his wife with a piece of lingerie? I honestly think that is great! Just keep in mind her likes and dislikes. Doing so will be an encouragement to her and allow her to be comfortable.
Wives: That all being said, it is great for you to know what your hubby’s likes and . . . “really” likes. You might not be ready to go all out, but you could change up the color, style or texture. Be aware of what he likes and either going for it or gradually working that way, is an incredible blessing to your hubby. It blesses him visually, tells him how much you desire him and how important sex and being sexy for him means to you as well.
3. Wrapping our minds around sex is one thing, wrapping it around sex with lingerie is a whole nother ball game!
Imagine that dressing in lingerie is like getting ready for the formal dinner you have to attend. Some women may love getting dressed up while others loathe it.Yet the fact still remains, it takes time and we don’t want to look like a frumpy women covered in lace and satin. So thinking that we might just throw it on in 2 minutes is a bit unrealistic most times. Do whatever you can to give your wife a little extra help and time so she can spend some time getting ready. It is an immense help and really speaks volumes to how much you value your wife and not just the outfit she is in! You want us to take the time-do whatever you can to give us the time!
4. Lingerie is not a one way street
The last thing I want to mention to all the lingerie lovin hubby’s out there is this – Lingerie is a two way street. No I am not suggesting cross dressing! Yet there are ways you can dress sexy for your wife. Not just sexy clothes, though those are really nice. If you’re not sure where to start, just deviate from the everyday undies, whatever that may be for you. Though women are not as visual as men, we are still visual and we like to enjoy the view. It also blesses us in that you were thinking of us and dressing just for us. It’s a two way street!
So guys, what do you think? How about the ladies, have I left something out? Would love to hear your thoughts and get a lingerie discussion going!