Men, we have an enemy in our midst. A simple and yet seductive enemy that is eroding our marriages. That enemy is quite simply, “sameness”. On a whole we do a very poor job noticing. Yes, I talked about that problem a few weeks ago in my post, Just Ask, Because I didn’t See , but that isn’t exactly what I’m meaning this time. I’m talking about the rut that we find ourselves in that keeps us from noticing all of the things that our wives do for us, and to take care of us.
Kate post, Curly or Straight, encouraged wives to think about their husband’s preferences especially when it comes to things like her appearance. On reflecting on her post I recognized that not only do a poor job noticing when my wife does consider my preferences, I sometimes don’t even think about thanking her for that awesome gift.
Eyes Wide Open
The other night I had an opportunity to make dinner for just Kate and me. I love to cook but in this busy season I haven’t had the opportunity in a while. So while Kate was working I took the chance to whip up a nice dinner for the two of us. While we were eating, I found myself asking questions like, “Is this good?”, or “How do you like the salad?” I wasn’t insecure about my cooking, I wanted to make sure that she was enjoying it.
Why did I tell that story? Because, how many times does the exact opposite happens and I don’t go out of my way to tell her how much I enjoy her cooking? Those little things that our wives do for us every day matter! Kate puts her heart into so many tasks to take care of me and our family, and I don’t do a good enough job telling her how much I appreciate them.
(maybe, maybe not)
Noticing and expressing appreciation might not be an immediate sexual turn on, but it sure doesn’t hurt. Think about it this way: if you wife took Kate’s advice and decided to do her hair the way you like it, and you didn’t even mention it, she is not going to feel encouraged to repeat her behavior. If on the other hand, you take the time to compliment her she will not only know you like it, but that you noticed and appreciated her, two things that feel good no matter who you are.
It’s almost back to school time, so I’m assigning homework this time! Guys, sometime this week. I want you to do two things:
- Recognize something that your wife does for you all the time (make dinner, do your laundry, make your lunch, etc.) and make a point to go out of your way to tell her how much you really appreciate it.
- Notice one thing that you wife did special (wear an outfit you like, make your favorite dinner, or do something sweet) and make a point to tell her how much you appreciate it!
Once you’ve done your homework come back and let us know what you noticed and what her reaction to your compliment was in the comments!