Every day we make choices. It might not feel like it, because we can get so used to life “as is” that we float through it without much thought. Even so, in the mindless moments there are a million tiny choices that we make every day.
It Starts With A Choice
Call it romance,
Call it love
Call it wooing or even
Call it respect
No matter what you call it, it starts with a choice.
Here is the tricky part, you already made this choice. You made the choice to love your wife, that’s why you asked her to marry you. That is not the problem. The problem comes in the mindlessness of life. When we go through every day without much thought, we are not prepared to make the choices that matter.
Which Do You Choose?
When your wife is running late
Do you choose to wait lovingly and patiently or pace the floor wearing a chip on each shoulder?
When you taking a break at work
Do you choose to send your wife a text or check the sports scores?
When you come home
Do you choose to plop on the couch and check out, or jump in and take part in the evening with your family?
This doesn’t only apply to husbands!
When your husband works those extra hours at his job
Do you choose to complain that he is never around, or thank him for working hard for the family?
When your husband gives one of those kisses
Do you welcome the advances, even though there is tons to do or do you push him away until the list is finished?
One Choice More
The choices don’t end there. When you’ve had a disagreement there is a choice that each of you makes that is very critical. You might not be seeing eye-to-eye, you might not feel like your spouse even gets you, but you have a choice to act in love and grace or not.
Every disagreement has a moment and a choice. The problem is that this choice is crowed out by emotions. There is hurt, frustration, anger…. all cheering you on to continue the fight. All of your emotions come together to push you toward the wrong choice. They scream “he’s trying to hurt me” or “she just doesn’t care at all”. It is easy to follow that emotion right down the road and keep the conflict growing.
If you can make the choice, the small shift to recognize your spouse as someone who loves you and wants the best for you, then you can all the sudden choose to see this disagreement as a misunderstanding between two loving people rather than an attack.
Today you will have dozens of choices, choices that will move you closer or further from your spouse.
Which will you choose?
Share in the comments how you have seen this in your marriage and how you have worked to make the grace choice!