3 Things You Need to Bring About Change in Your Marriage

Kate says . . .

“I want to change, know that I need to change, but have no idea how to change.”

1. Pray

Nothing is going to happen of your own strength. Well, nothing that is lasting will come from your own strength. If you want to change you are going to need help. Praying, crying out to God to be everything you need in this time is the best way you can get ready to make changes. Seek God’s word on what it says to wives. Ask God to reveal to you, what he desires for you as a wife to YOUR husband. Talk to God and then stop and listen to what His Spirit is telling you.KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

2. One Thing

When we feel the need to change our lives we usually see many things that need to change. That may be truth, but that will also become overwhelming fast. If you feel the need to keep a list around, do just that. Make a “change list” in a journal or tuck it in your Bible. Then choose ONE thing to work on changing. Think about what you choose. Is there something that you feel nudged to work on first? Work diligently on that one thing until you feel you can add or move on. One thing at a time, ladies!

3. Trusted Friend

Seek out a trusted friend with whom you can share your desire to change. I would challenge that it should be a married woman in a solid marriage, but it doesn’t have to be. Just as long as it is a woman who will challenge and push you when needed as well as pray for you. Show them your list and which one you will be working on first. Be open and transparent with this friend. It is only through vulnerability and transparency that an accountability relationship works. Take that brave step and reach out!

The Other Question

“Should I tell my husband my plan for change?”

This is the question that is many times asked in addition to the one above. The answer isn’t cut and dry. Some women may find it best to share with their husbands while others not. The challenge is this: Actions speak louder than words. So doing and showing your husband that change is going to speak volumes to him. Much more so then words. That being said there will be a time when you will need to share what is on your heart and how you desire to change. When that happens is up to you. When I was finally open to changing in my marriage, I didn’t share with Brad at first, but it didn’t take him long before he asked “what is different?”

Wives that have sought to change things for the better in their marriage . . . what would you add to the list. Share whether you told your hubby or not. Can’t wait to hear marriage change stories!

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3 Responses to 3 Things You Need to Bring About Change in Your Marriage

  1. I’ve done both at different times and for different reasons (and some not so honourable either). What I’ve finally figured out is that it was my own resolve with God that made the difference in my change. It was my determination to please God by being the best wife for Darrell that He wanted me to be.

  2. Kate,

    We were truly blessed to read this post. You have so much insight about how to pray for _your own_ change and not change in your partner. Too many times people are focused on what’s wrong with their mate and not what they can change in their own life. We try in our relationship to embrace one another in the place where they are in the same way God loves us, regardless of our sins or problems.

    We plan to reflect on these words frequently and hope that you continue to share your wisdom with us. We’d love to have your comments on our relationship blog as well, as we are currently courting and working towards marriage.

    Much thanks and God bless!

    –Josh and Marisa