Pursue – (v.) to follow and try to catch or capture someone for usually a long distance or time. Every wife wants to be pursued by her husband, and yet all too often we neglect the mission. Kate’s post, 5 Ways to Initiate with Your Husband gave wives important things they need to be doing, today I want to follow-up with ideas for the guys.
The dating stage of your relationship is naturally filled with pursuing activities. We want our wives to know that we are interested in them. Unfortunately, as I talked about in one of my early posts, many men feel like we can stop pursuing after the wedding because “we’ve caught them right?
Pursuing your wife tells her you are invested, you are interested, you care and you want her! Yes, pursuit has some elements of sexual energy in it, but it isn’t all sex. If you are just pursuing your wife for sex you are doing it wrong! You need to pursue her mind, her heart, her soul & her body!
Pursue Her Mind
Do you know what your wife does all day? Do you know what she is thinking about at work or at home? Do you know what she is reading, watching, or talking about with her girlfriends? You should! Don’t just zone out when she pulls up her Pinterest page. Show an interest in the things that she is thinking about.
You are not the only one with hope and dreams, talk to her about her dreams, for home, for work, for life after kids. What would she love to do? Does she have a hobby, learn everything you can about it and talk to her about it sometimes.
Your investment in her mind will show her that you still desire to get to know her! Trust me you don’t know it all yet!
Pursue Her Heart
Valentine’s Day comes but once a year, (thank goodness) and if that is the only time you show love to your wife you are missing the boat! Recently we were cleaning out my parent’s basement and came across a box of notes and letters from our early dating days. Can I say I was a pathetic hopeless romantic. I wrote Kate a whole book of lousy poetry, just because. But the point is I was doing a TON more to pursue Kate’s heart when we were dating. I didn’t let an opportunity to go by without expressing love to her.
I’m guessing I’m not the only one out there that pursues their wife’s heart less than he pursued his girlfriends. The key isn’t returning to those early days, it is bringing back the desire to show her how much you love and care for her. The reason is the key not the sappy sentiment. Figure out how to show her you love her!
Pursue Her Soul
How is your wife growing spiritually? Do you know? Growing in Christ takes more than individual time with God. It takes people learning together, challenging each other and growing each other. You grow when you can talk about what you are learning or how you are being challenging.
What keeps us from doing this with our wives is that many times we feel like she’s the “spiritual giant” of the family. While that may or may not be true it doesn’t mean you can’t pursue her soul. Find a way to talk about what you are learning. What stood out to you in the sermon? What did she read in Scripture this week? These conversations not only help each of you grow but show her you are interested in her soul!
Pursue Her Body
There was a day when you dreamed of being able to kiss the nape of your wife’s neck. Remember those days? When the thought of her body was exciting? It is natural for that heart pounding passion to change over time, but that doesn’t mean we don’t keep pursuing her body. This actually isn’t just about sex.
Pursuing her body is telling her about the things you admire and find sexy. Giving her soft sensual touch that doesn’t have any strings attached. It is letting her know that you are thinking about her while you are away from each other. It is letting her know of your desire for her in a sensual, not crass way. For more on pursuing your wife sexually, read “Pursue Me”.
The pursuit is on men! How are you going to pursue your wife? Let us know in the comments!
Photo courtesy of Sergio Hayashi and © photoxpress