You know that moment when your amazing husband makes his desire for you known and in back of your mind you fight the feeling that you are a piece of meat? That all he wants is sex? If I had a dime for every time a reader asks me this question, let’s just say I would have a whole lot of dimes!
Culture has told us that men need sex. That they have to have it as if it as if they were an animal. So when we are tired and exhausted, we start to buy into the lie that all our hubby wants is sex. Unfortunately I bought this lie for many years in our marriage as well. In bringing light to the darkness of lies, we have to uncover the truth. So what is the truth?
3 Truths I have uncovered about why my hubby desires sex with me . . .
It is a need, but not only in the way you assume
Brad and I believe sex to be a need in marriage and believe that to be a biblical principle (1 Cor. 7:1-7), though it took me awhile to see the truth of this. God designed it as something special and unique to the marriage relationship. He made us sexual beings. Sex within marriage is a need not a want. To a marriage it is as essential as food and water. The reality is that we treat wants and needs very differently in life and that creates a problem with viewing sex as merely a want. Recognizing sex as a need in both your life and your hubby’s is essential to further understanding God’s good plan for sex in marriage.
So I realize that saying sex is a need could make it feel as though your husband is an animal and can’t control himself. While I get that, it should encourage you that God made your husband to desire that intimate time with you. That he feels closest to you when it is just the two of you, enjoying each other. I know God made you differently, but understanding and cherishing how he created your husband is so good!
He desires YOU
When a husband desires to have sex with his wife, it is because he desires that closeness with her. He desires you, because you are his wife and it is good that he should. Stop thinking that he “wants” you and remind yourself that he desires you. I cannot say it enough, your husband desires you-not just sex. He wants to share that time with you, that he can share with no one else. He wants to feel that close to you. He wants to make you feel incredible too. If you struggle to believe that, when all else fails-seek to think the best of your husband. Not the worst-that he would reduce your worth as simply a vessel for his own pleasure. He desires YOU-his WIFE! It is a beautiful thing to be so desired and as a result cherished!
God’s design of your husband is truly amazing
When we look at a flower or a beautiful sunset-we can easily praise God on creating a masterpiece. When we look at our children, we see God’s handwork. When we see our husbands we should see the same thing. I would imagine you did on your wedding day. Why has that image tarnished? God created your husband as a one of a kind, masterpiece. Though the masterpiece is unfinished, he is unique and amazing. Believe it. If you don’t, ask God to restore that to you. Seek to see your husband and his desire for sex with you as an amazing thing.
A shocking revelation
What do you think is the number one thing your husband wants with sex? Ask him! Be brave and ask him that questions. Then hear what he has to say. I think you will be surprised. While sexy outfits and different positions are fun and I’m sure he wouldn’t turn them down. I know for my hubby and many we hear from what they want most is, to be desired by their wife. That and making you feel incredible during sex. There is nothing so wonderful to him, then you wanting to enjoy sex with him. Letting him touch and please you. Losing yourselves together is something specifically created for marriage and pleasure. Again, don’t believe me? Ask him!
I am not a piece of meat, I am my husbands desire and pleasure! Wow, I love that!
Have you struggled with feeling like a piece of meat where sex is concerned?
Has God shown you another truth about sex in marriage that would encouraged our readers?