Willing to be Adventurous

Kate says . . .

Brad is right! I just thought I’d start my post with that, because as a husband and a man, that will make his day.  🙂 But honestly with his last post “Is it ok for Christian Couples to . . .” I completely agree. Yet, I often get some resistance and nervousness from wives when we talk about what is, and what isn’t OK to try in the bedroom. A few thoughts as you ponder the thought of being adventurous in the bedroom.

All of these questions are under the assumption that the things being considered are just between the two of you, not specifically addressed in scripture, not hurting either of you and mutually agreed upon.

Are you adamantly opposed or just unsure because it is something you have never tried?

Is this something you really don’t want to do and is completely out of your comfort zone or is it just something that makes you nervous? Be willing to have this conversation with yourself and decipher these things. It is important to know the difference and be able to express to your husband what you are willing to try.

Do you have things you’d like to try but aren’t sure how they will be received? Or you are too embarrassed to ask?

It is not always the husband who has ideas for the bedroom! So if you are the one that has ideas, even though it is hard to share them, I encourage you to do so. It may be hard to break that ice the first time. but I bet your hubby will be thankful you did. Regardless whose idea it is, you both need to decide that this IS something you’d like to try.

What would people think if they knew?

I have heard this one for everything from simple things like different sexual positions, to all kinds of extremes. We need to remember that the marriage bed is just between the two of you, for your mutual enjoyment. There are no requirements to share or even to wonder what others would think. If you are enjoying each other, honoring each other and having fun, who cares what the world thinks.

Don’t over complicate things!

I feel that in a very real effort to honor God, we often over complicate things. If the Bible doesn’t talk specifically about it, then we need to ask first if it is honoring to our spouse. If it is, then we need to think about their comfort level and desire. The reality is if you are ALWAYS putting their needs and wants before your own, taking care of them with tenderness-then the question of “Is it ok?” becomes irrelevant. It can often be our selfish or misguided desires that get us into a fix. Just food for thought!


What questions do you have when you consider being adventurous in the bedroom? Let us know in the comments!

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2 Responses to Willing to be Adventurous

  1. I gave my wife oral once, I think she liked it, but she has not let me near her since that one time. She gives me oral quite often which I love. What can I do to encourage her to enjoy me? I would like to introduce a prostate massage with a toy into our love making, but I am embarrassed to ask. Also my wife does not want me to use toys on her which I think would increase our marital intimacy. Any suggestions?

    • Personally, I am not a fan of sex toys. I believe God gave us full capacity to enjoy each other’s flesh without grabbing toys to have sex with, instead.

      Now, if a couple needs sex tools because of some difficulty, then I don’t see a problem. But toys to shove up whatever hole, or to vibrate beyond human ability is diverting from God’s beautiful original design.

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