Kate says . . .
I remember the time clearly, because the mind remembers emotional pain as if it were yesterday. Our minds can forget physical pain, but recall emotional pain almost instantly.
I remember because there are current moments where I wonder if I will travel down the same scary broken road. Will I struggle with my inner self while wrestling with God. I do not want to go back there! Ever! And yet it is through that time of brokenness that I can now share my struggles and see the how God restores and heals.
Just because I struggle with desire, doesn’t mean I don’t desire my husband
It seems to be a contradiction. I know. I get it. But in all the time that I was struggling with desire for sex, I wanted to want sex! I found my hubby very attractive and desired him. Yet when that translated to wanting sex, I struggled.
I just could not seem to make my body respond to the desire that I had. I believe that if we had not experienced our breakthrough change in our marriage, it would have crippled us and eventually I would have tamped down any sexual feelings for my hubby to “deal.” I would have kept my head buried in the sand so that I did not have to deal with the reality of the lack of sex in our marriage.
Struggling with desiring sex, does not mean we do not desire our spouse!