The Broken Bedroom

Kate says . . .

It’s not surprising that sex is the hottest topic on One Flesh Marriage.  Any and every post talking about sex gets the most attention, feedback and debates. Everyone has an opinion and everyone has a story. There are not to many marriages out there that have not struggled with sex at some point in their marriage.

The one question that we are repeatedly asked when we talk about sex is, “Why is sex such a big deal, it’s not the only aspect of marriage?” It certainly is not the only aspect to marriage and when you look at statistics of time spent in your marriage, sex will be a small portion of it. (Check out The Most Important 0.625% Of Your Marriage, a great post written by a friend of ours.)

If sex is such a small portion of marriage, why is it such a big deal? Why is it that it is so attacked in the world and even in marriages?The Broken Bedroom

We buy into the sex lies that we are told

Everywhere we go, we are barraged with images and messages about sex and sexuality. Images of people who are not married to wearing a whole lot less than we should be viewing them in.

Brad and I were recently in Times Square seeing the Broadway show Amazing Grace (which was awesome) and we thought we’d walk around for a while before the show. There were messages being thrown at our feet and images bombarding our eyes on huge screens, all telling us lies about body image, sex and sexuality. While these were highlighted in Times Square, we see these images every day, and we buy the lies that they are telling us.  Lies such as:

  • Dressing in a revealing way for all to see is sexy
  • Wearing certain things (or lack there of) makes you sexy
  • Sex should be fun and amazing all the time and if it isn’t now with you current partner, then find someone else

4 Words to Speak Life or Spread Poison

Kate says, This day is just like any other day, a moment like so many that cross your path each day of your life. The man you found so handsome and amazing stands before you, sharing his day full of struggles and victories. He bares his soul of what God has called him to at this…

Sticks and Stones and Broken Bones

Brad says…. The playground taught me the biggest lie of all time. “Sticks and Stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” I don’t know who came up with this line, but there isn’t an ounce of truth in it. Words hurt. Words often hurt even more than even sticks and stones…

Down the Drain

Brad Says… One of my least favorite chores is cleaning out the shower drain. That stinking ball of gray goo that clogs up the flow ever few months is not fun to remove. I hate it so much that often I’ll ignore the signs that it needs to be done. The last few weeks the…

3 Things for When you are Hurting in your Marriage

Kate says . . . The loneliness is all encompassing. No matter which way you turn it seems to be there nipping at your heals. The cloud of darkness that follows your one flesh journey is ever hovering. You look to the other wanting desperately to reach out, for this to be the time that…

My Wall of Shame

Kate says . . . The sun is beating hot. So intense it is like hitting a wall. The wall, similar to the one I feel in my own life is too hot to approach and tear down. So I keep building the wall, layer after layer to protect myself. It is a wall I…

3 Things Higher Sex Drive Spouses Wish their Spouse Knew

Brad Says… Kate wrote the, “3 Things you need to know about struggling with low desire” which every higher drive spouse needs to read. I thought I would follow it up with my own perspective letting you into the brain of a higher sex drive spouse. 1. We Are Sherlock Most of the Time “My…

3 Things you need to know about struggling with low desire

Kate says . . . I remember the time clearly, because the mind remembers emotional pain as if it were yesterday. Our minds can forget physical pain, but recall emotional pain almost instantly. I remember because there are current moments where I wonder if I will travel down the same scary broken road. Will I…

5 Things Marriages That Have Been Fought for Have

Kate says . . . We all have seen them. The marriages that suddenly seem “different” in a totally good way. When we get up the courage to ask them, we are enlightened to many battles on a vast battlefield. Maybe you realized there was a battlefield and perhaps you didn’t. Some people are fine…

What’s Behind This Door for YOU?

Guest Post by Shannon Ethridge, M.A. Imagine 8-10 women of all ages, from all walks of life, gathering together behind this door over a 4-day span with one goal – to sift through their sexual and emotional baggage. Why in the world would they want to do such a thing? Because they’re serious about making sexual integrity…