Broken Oneness

Kate says . . .

In marriage, God design is to draw a husband and a wife to oneness. “They shall no longer be two, they will be one flesh.” We named our blog and ministry One Flesh, because as God was working in us, we felt so strongly that we were finally growing together into one flesh.

It is a process that happens in marriage, it is not a destination reached only when you share sex. If oneness is God’s plan for marriage, then how do you deal with the fact that you are both broken as you are seeking that oneness in marriage?broken oneness

I know for me, oneness sounds so amazing, it sounds like coming home. I’ll say that again, oneness sounds like coming home. Oneness is the place where I can rest and be myself, where it is warm and comforting. It is filled with joy, love, respect, understanding, grace and forgiveness.

On the other hand, brokenness sounds shattering. The process of being shattered is lonely, dark and cold. It is filled with hardness and unforgiveness. We are broken people and without God we stay this way. Without God the journey to oneness cannot happen. It is essential to understand “what” oneness in marriage truly is . . .

Wife’s Gift Guide to Knock Your Hubby’s Socks Off! 2014 Edition

Kate says . . . It’s that time of year when we get to spend time with family and friends and eat lots of yummy food and treats. As we focus on celebrating our Savior’s birth, we also have the unique opportunity to celebrate Christmas with your hubby, and at the same time to love…

Christmas Gift Guide to Wow Your Wife – 2014 edition

Brad says… It’s that time again! The time of year when men’s thoughts turn to Christmas sex only to remember that they need to pick out that perfect Christmas present first. The art of picking the perfect Christmas present for your wife is always a challenge. It has to be something practical enough that she…

Not Tonight Dear and Other Ways to Say Yes To Sex

Kate says . . . Every Thursday night we spend the evening with a group of amazing married people at our church going through the re|engage marriage program at our church. I never get tired of going to re|engage. I love to interact with married couples and see couples interacting with each other. This week…

12 Ways to Ask for Sex Tonight

Brad says… Having sex tonight or not, may have more to do with how you ask than anything else. Desire is important, but asking for sex in a way that will be received by your wife is the real challenge. The goal is to make your desire for intimacy known in a way that doesn’t completely…

Is Not Having Sex A Sin?

Kate says… We want to share an important question we received from an OFM reader recently because we are sure there are many of you have might be asking the same question. “My wife and I were talking and we were pondering this question. We seem to get the sense that having sex is something…

4 Marriage Truths and Lies

Kate says . . . There are those moments when you read something about marriage, and then you stop immediately think-TRUTH! It might not be a truth you are comfortable with, or perhaps it is one you are still learning, but you acknowledge it for the truth that it is. Marriage truths are important for…

3 Things I Wish I Knew Before Getting Married

Brad says… Seeing my beloved walk toward me down the aisle seems like memory from a long, long time ago. Since that time I have discovered more joy and blessings than that kid could ever know was possible. Even though I’m thrilled with how things worked out, I can still think of things that naive…

Passion Principles for Women

Kate says . . . If you are sitting in church on Sunday and the pastor asks you to, “Raise your hand if sex has been a struggle at some point in your marriage.” I believe the hands of almost all (if not all) married couples would go up. Then if he asked, “How many of you…

5 Things I Wish Someone had told me about Sex

Kate says . . . I wish that I had been brave. I wish I had been that young girl who was willing to step out of her comfort zone and ask good, hard, sometimes embarrassing questions. I wish I had seen the need to be informed before I walked down the aisle to the…