Sometimes change happens in marriage when 1 person steps out and starts the journey of change alone. This is never an easy process. We have written several posts to encourage you to take the challenging steps toward a one flesh journey.
We talk all the time about the journey to a one flesh marriage. For some of you this journey seem more like a dream, or a distant memory. Marriage doesn’t seem like a journey at all rather it is a challenging difficult time of feeling alone and desiring together. If this is the case, don’t give up hope! The journey toward a great marriage can be started by forging on ahead, alone. You can start the journey of a one flesh marriage as a journey of one.
There are no magic words that I can give you to change your marriage from a one man (or woman) marriage to a one flesh marriage together. I honestly wish there were. But there is hope, the journey from feeling married alone back to together is not a short trip. You didn’t get here over night and you won’t return quickly either. Here are 4 guides to help you start the trip and keep you focused on the goal during the difficult traveling!
One person can start a change in a marriage that moves it from blah to amazing! I know because my wife did and it made all the difference. Our story from a marriage on the rocks, to a good-ish marriage to a great marriage was a journey that occurred in stages. The changes didn’t all happen at one time, or by one person leading the change. However, the last jump from good to great happened when Kate when deep with God, and committed to cling to our marriage!
When I look back on the 12 years of our marriage, I see many valleys, many times of confusion and uncertainty. I also remember many times of laughter and hope-glimpses of the marriage I always hoped we would have. I have shared many times that I wondered if the place of confusion and disillusionment was just how marriage worked. That even though we loved each other tremendously, there would always be a big chasm between us, that neither of us seemed to be able to bridge.
Feeling alone, distant, withdrawn is something that I can do very well. Sometimes under stress I can pull back from those around me, including my wife. In Kate’s post, “As I Walk Alone” she talked about remembering that God is with us, even when we feel alone in our marriage. Today I wanted to give both husbands and wives some tangible ideas and techniques to bridge the gap if you are feeling alone, feeling that your spouse had emotionally retreated.