I still remember the night several years ago when I was plopped on the couch ignoring my family when Kate lovingly challenged me that I really could be helping her out with the three million things she was doing after she got home from work. The first thought that went through my head was, “man, what are you complaining about I help out more than any of the husbands that I’m counseling.” Fortunately, before my mouth engaged I recognized the stupidity of that statement. I was mentally comparing myself against a pretty bad standard and then rewarding myself for doing more than they were.
We’ve all heard stories of deadbeat dads or abusive husbands and it is easy to think, “at least I’m better than that”. That’s great, I’m thrilled that you are better than that, but that doesn’t give you rights to brag, you should be better than that! Don’t let yourselves look down and say, “Wow, I’m better than them.”
Who do you compare to?
Men might not have the challenge of henpecking like Kate talked about in “Husband Bashing”, but I think that most of us walk around with an internal model of who we should be as a husband. Who do you compare to? The guys at work? Your dad? Husband’s you see on tv? Continue Reading