Kate says . . .
A bundle of nerves and excitement as I waited at the back of the church. Waiting for the moment when I would walk to him. The man who captured my heart with his caring, loving ways. Six years in the waiting after many years of long distance. I was ready. Ready to be a wife. Ready to learn all about marriage. Ready to be patient, kind and loving. Ready to do it all, believing I knew God’s heart towards marriage.
I never realized one of his precious plans for me in this journey to oneness with my amazing husband would be to bring to light things about myself. I never saw the battlefield ahead. As I can look back over that battlefield, I know that God never left us. He was teaching me things about the man I was married to, but even more importantly he was teaching me about myself.
I am selfish
Plain and simple truth! Marriage has been like holding up a mirror to myself. It has shown me that in most situations, I think of myself first. What I want, my feelings, that I am right or how I am hurt. What about me?? What about me?? That is where I go. The realness of me is not always pretty. I have to be honest, I can go there just as easily now at times. Yet, when I do I stop myself and try to think of Brad and his perspective. During my days, I stop and think of how I can do things for him, putting him first. Being selfish has the illusion of feeling good, but caring for your spouse first feels so much better.
My communication or lack thereof, stems from my family of origin
You know that moment when you and your husband are having a disagreement and you just want to bang your head against the wall-right next to him doing the same. You have communicated your side of things, why is there still a problem? It is through marriage that I started to understand how God has made me as a communicator as well as how the nurture of my family has affected my communication. Yup, I communicate much like my family. I tend to be loud and want to talk things out, where Brad is quiet and wants to withdraw from confrontations. I don’t think I ever took a good look at how I communicated until I was married. Knowing each other’s communication tendencies and how to work those together is such a hard but good
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