Tag Archives: Growth

5 Things Marriage Has Taught Me About Myself

Kate says . . .

A bundle of nerves and excitement as I waited at the back of the church. Waiting for the moment when I would walk to him. The man who captured my heart with his caring, loving ways. Six years in the waiting after many years of long distance. I was ready. Ready to be a wife. Ready to learn all about marriage. Ready to be patient, kind and loving. Ready to do it all, believing I knew God’s heart towards marriage.

I never realized one of his precious plans for me in this journey to oneness with my amazing husband would be to bring to light things about myself. I never saw the battlefield ahead. As I can look back over that battlefield, I know that God never left us. He was teaching me things about the man I was married to, but even more importantly he was teaching me about myself.

Here are five things God has taught me about myself though my marriage.  I could have listed many, many more.5 Things Marriage Has Taught Me About Myself

I am selfish

Plain and simple truth! Marriage has been like holding up a mirror to myself. It has shown me that in most situations, I think of myself first. What I want, my feelings, that I am right or how I am hurt. What about me?? What about me?? That is where I go. The realness of me is not always pretty. I have to be honest, I can go there just as easily now at times. Yet, when I do I stop myself and try to think of Brad and his perspective. During my days, I stop and think of how I can do things for him, putting him first. Being selfish has the illusion of feeling good, but caring for your spouse first feels so much better.

My communication or lack thereof, stems from my family of origin

You know that moment when you and your husband are having a disagreement and you just want to bang your head against the wall-right next to him doing the same. You have communicated your side of things, why is there still a problem? It is through marriage that I started to understand how God has made me as a communicator as well as how the nurture of my family has affected my communication.  Yup, I communicate much like my family. I tend to be loud and want to talk things out, where Brad is quiet and wants to withdraw from confrontations. I don’t think I ever took a good look at how I communicated until I was married. Knowing each other’s communication tendencies and how to work those together is such a hard but good
thing. Continue Reading

Fix My Broken Brain

Brad says… I’ve discovered that men’s brains cannot be trusted. No that isn’t an insult, it is true. The most important part of our body is utterly flawed. Every time something doesn’t go well in our marriage our brain tries to trick us into thinking the worst possible thing about the one we love.  “She never wants to have… Continue Reading

Hurt’s Opportunity

Kate says . . . What do we do when our spouse does something (perhaps sin is involved) and we are hurt in the process? We want them to step up and take responsibility. We want them to do their time for what they have done. Have you ever felt like this is your marriage?… Continue Reading

Is Your Marriage on Cruise?

Brad says… In Kate’s post, “The First Year Marriage Talk” she suggested that every engaged couple find a newlywed couple to talk to. I wanted to expand this idea to talk about what is motivating your marriage. We often talk about marriage as a journey. A path that we are on as husband and wife… Continue Reading