Choose Your Path to the 10 Day Challenge

Alright guys, I know that many of you saw my post, The Return of the 10 Day Challenge and were practically salivating at the idea of having sex with your wife 10 days in a row.  I am sure that some of you immediately posted the link on your wife’s facebook wall simply saying “We are SO doing this”.

For the rest of the husbands out there that would love to try the 10 day challenge with their wife, but have absolutely no clue how to approach her with the idea.  I give you The Choose Your Own Adventure to get your wife excited about the 10 Day Challenge.

The Adventure Begins…

First when was the last time you and your wife had sex two days in a row?

  • If it was yesterday and today and it was wonderful go to #1
  • If it was some time within the month go to #2
  • If it was during your last vacation together which was some time in 2011 go to #3
  • If it was during the 10-day challenge back in 2010, then go to #4
  • If it was during your honeymoon go to #5
  • If it has never happened go to #6

#1– You are golden, your wife will clearly love the idea of the 10 day challenge.  All you have to do is mention the idea, show her the post and put the dates on the calendar! Go to #12

#2 You have a pretty active sex life already so the idea of 10 days in a row won’t be completely overwhelming to your wife. If she is the competitive type go to #7.  If not Go to #10

#3 You might be ready for the challenge, but unless you suggest it in the right way your wife will simply take a look at her busy schedule and snicker at the idea.  If you have kids under the age of two go to #8.  If not go to #10

#4- You took on the challenge once before I’m sure that she might be willing to give it another go!  The conversation starter that you are looking for is, “Do you remember when…” followed by some excellent memory of all the time you spent together last time!  Start the conversation and simply work in, “I saw that they are running it again!” Go to #12

#5- If your honeymoon was in the past year go to #1, otherwise go to #6

#6 I’m sorry to say but there are some couples who are just not ready to take on the 10 Day Challenge.  If the frequency of sexual intimacy has been a major issue in your relationship then using the 10 Day Challenge to increase it probably will not work.  If you have not had sex in over a year go to #9.  If you have a regular sex life but just not usually more then 1 or 2 times a month and never 2 days in a row then go to #3.

#7 Your wife has that competitive edge, she loves a good game, and never likes to lose.  Your conversation starter is, “I wonder if we could actually finish the 10 day challenge?  I was reading about couples who have sex 10 days in a row, it looks pretty hard…”  go to #12.

#8 Children under 2 have a way of dramatically disrupting any couple’s sex life.  They take tons of time, they tend to wake up at the worst moment, and even when they are sleeping peacefully you are so exhausted that thinking about sex usually isn’t the first thing on your wife’s mind.  Your conversation starter is, “We have been so busy lately with darling (insert name of cutie distraction  pie)  I would really love to spend some quality time with you.  I heard about this 10 Day Intimacy Challenge, and I would love to try it with you to challenge us to spend time together.”  If this conversation meets with success Go to #12, if not go to #10.

#9 Your sex life is not living up to all you had dreamed about obviously.  Kate and I wrote a series of posts on this topic not long ago.  I would encourage you to read these, work on the issues and re-introduce sex into your marriage, then watch for the 10 day Challenge to happen again next year! The End

#10 Your wife might think that 10 days of intimacy with you would be great, but she knows that at the end of the day she is crashing into bed desperate for 5 hours of sleep before it all starts again.  Your wife’s biggest concern might be the amount of time 10 days of sex will take.  Your conversation starter must be centered on how you are going to help find the time for the two of you to spend together! Think about work time, TV time, computer time, and all of the other area where time seems to simply disappear from your day.  If you can go to her with a list of things that you will eliminate in order to spend time together go to #12 otherwise visit my post, The Great Pull, Work and Marriage then try again.

#11 The stereotype is that all men want sex just because they like sex.  If you tell your wife about the challenge by telling her that you want to have sex 10 days in a row, then you will only be feeding this stereotype.  Think for a minute guys, there are lots of great reasons to have 10 days of sex with your wife!  It helps to improve your communication, it gives you time together, it greatly increases intimacy in other areas (emotional, spiritual and intellectual).  Read through the Top 10 reasons to take the 10 Day Challenge and pick out 1 or 2 that will most appeal to your wife.  Approach her with these reasons and see her response.  If she mentions not enough time go to #10 if not go to #12.

#12  Great! You’re all set for the challenge! All you have to do now is, show her the post, 2015- 10 Day Challenge, and put the dates, February 14th through the 23th on the calendar.  Make sure that both of you have followed OFM on Facebook and Twitter, so you will get all of the 10 Day Challenge updates!   Leave us a comment and let us know how the conversation went! The End!


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9 Responses to Choose Your Path to the 10 Day Challenge

  1. This is really clever how you made all those options based on where couples are right now. You must be an engineer or something! Cheers for the Sexy Marriage, my friends!!

  2. I couldn’t get my husband interested in a 10 day challenge if I tryed. We hadn’t had sex, intimacy, dinner together for 40 years. He doesn’t love me or want me in his life. I’am just another person in our house I live upstairs and he down stairs.
    It has been a terrible life but I’ve gotten use to it.

    • decaf,
      Thank you for sharing your story! I’m really very sorry to hear it! It was stories exactly like yours that inspired Kate and I to start One Flesh Marriage! We really want to see couples work on the issues that appear in marriage before they drag on for years and years! As I’m sure you can testify what at the beginning of your marriage was a problem, now seems like a completely overwhelming mountain of distance between you and your husband! Unfortunately, this is exactly what happens when problems fester. I don’t know what advice I can give you, but I hope that this story inspires others to take a risk and communicate about problems before they become mountains!
      God Bless,