Why Men Love Lingerie

Brad says…

If your husband is a lingerie lover, have you ever wondered why he loves lingerie? Have you fought hard to smile every time another slinky negligee, teddy, or sexy corset is wrapped up as a present? The truth behind that silky garment is more than meets the eye! We love what meets the eye, but it is the messages that lingerie is communicating that gets our attention. Why Men Love Lingerie

We Love the Availability

Lingerie says, “Yes”, one word that we love to hear. Not only does it say yes, but it communicates a very strong and sensual yes, an excited to be with you yes. These are absolutely wonderful words for all husbands regardless how frequent the sexual intimacy is in your marriage. For couples who have less frequent intimacy, lingerie takes out the guess work, wondering and trying, that sometimes challenge men to be Romeo and Sherlock Holmes at the same time. When you slip on “something more comfortable” we love the strong and resounding yes we hear.

We Love the Looking

Lingerie says, “Please look” two words that every guy loves to hear from his wife. Ladies your husband loves your body and he loves looking at it. While an “in the dark, under the covers romp” is sometimes fun, lingerie is all about looking! We love it! We want to step back and soak in all the beauty that is radiating off of you! We want to let our eyes dance over those sexy curves and just enjoy the view. Lingerie not only allows us to do that but asks us to, and we love it!

We Love the Build Up

Lingerie says “let’s take our time tonight.” Has your regular sexual intimacy become closer to a quickie over the years? Even when we slow things down sometimes they can still go pretty quickly. Lingerie is a great way to let us slow things down, enjoy the view and slowly unwrap the evening.

We Love the Excitement

Lingerie says “I’m excited to be with you tonight.” Behind every man’s desire for sex is an equally strong desire for his wife’s pleasure. We really want you to feel good. Making you feel good makes us feel great! When you put on lingerie you are in essence showing him you are sexually desiring him, which is a huge way to boost your husband’s self-esteem and show him you desire him!

We Love the Gift

Lingerie says, “I’m yours.” We know that you aren’t dressing up like that for anyone other than us and that you are doing it simply for our enjoyment. That is a huge turn on. Knowing that you have thought about what we would like and then you not only bought it, but made time to wear it is a huge gift. We know that you are subconscious, we know that you might not love all the same curves that we do, and we know that you are making yourself vulnerable all for us. It is a huge and awesome gift! It makes us feel very special and is one of the biggest reasons why we love it!

We Love the Wow

Lingerie says, “Wow!” One of the exciting things about lingerie is the potential wow factor. When we least expect it you can surprise us with a wow! Seeing you in lingerie when it was totally unexpected has the ability to make our eyes pop like Bugs Bunny! It is exciting, alluring, enticing and awesome!

Give It Another Try

Next time your hubby smiles at the lingerie drawer or hints at how nice it would be to see you in something slinky try not to roll your eyes. Consider all of the amazing things you can say all with one sexy piece of lingerie.

Before you sigh and think about dusting off some antique you got from your grandmother at your bridal shower you might want to consider finding something new. There are many different types and styles that can flatter and excite anew! I recommend that you visit this great site with your husband and ask him what style he likes. We like Husband and Wife because of the wide variety of styles that are all shown on mannequins so that the only body he will be seeing it on is your own.

Men, did I miss any messages that lingerie communicates that makes your heart skip a beat? 

Ladies, Kate’s post to husbands letting them know what you are thinking about that lingerie is up next. What messages do you want guys to know that would help you be more likely to give lingerie a try?

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27 Responses to Why Men Love Lingerie

  1. I love this post, Brad! You’ve said it so well and captured the essence of the heart behind the desire for sexy lingerie. We’re sharing this one, and I can’t wait to read Kate’s post.
    Thank you for all you do in the midst of a very busy life!

  2. Kate…be sure to include that many women need verbal affirmation of their beauty/sexiness while wearing the lingerie. Especially those if us that are shy in expressing ourselves this way. Thanks!!:D

    • Yes, we need verbal affirmations. Hubby has specific lingerie tastes for me and I wear something of that nature nearly every night even though sex may not happen. I am always available, always looking sexy, feeling sexy, beautiful and feminine.

  3. For me it signals “You are important to me. This aspect of our relationship matters to me as well as you.” It signals an interest by the woman. I like that, and think that message is very important to feel and convey.

  4. Thanks for the informative post. I can identify with many of the points in the article. I shared this with my wife of 21 years in an effort to further explain why I have desired sexy lingerie over the years. She read with interest but has an issue pertaining to “worldly” influence in our sex life. She wears lingerie, but I feel like she holds back because of an issue which we can’t seem to resolve.

    The issue stems from any suggestions I make about sex that are what she calls as deriving from “worldly” influence. She thinks I desire to see her in lingerie due to influence from TV, media, Victoria’s Secret, etc. She has uncertainty over wanting to indulge in activities that might not be pleasing to God.

    Another example is once I suggested she do a strip tease privately in our bedroom for me only. She was not into it due to the fact that it emulates strippers and the idea is derived from areas that might be considered sinful.

    My wife is open to a change in attitude. I think she is looking for confirmation that it is okay in God’s eyes to indulge in certain activities as long as they are morally acceptable even if the idea was derived from “worldly” ideas. Could anyone suggest a location or book where we could find more information in this area? I feel it will eventually drive a wedge in our sex life and that is exactly what the devil desires. Thanks!!

    • Perhaps suggest that you each take a week and study Proverbs 5:15-19 and Song of Solomon 4:1-5:1 and then have a special time together to share with each other how these passages relate to your thoughts and feelings on this issue. Try to plan a romantic outing to a place where you can both be comfortable talking about this. Also make sure you’re loving her in other ways such as verbal affirmation, non-sexual touch, listening to her, sharing your heart, and fixing broken things in your home that are important to her. You don’t want her to feel like you’re beating her over the head with the Bible to get her to do what you want.

      Another book to consider is Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus. The sub-title is Answers to 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex.

      Finally, be sensitive to any current or past failures in your life that might influence her perception of your desires. Any failures with pornography, viewing sensual media, looking at other women, or improper relationships require genuine repentance, seeking forgiveness for how you have hurt her, and time for her to heal and regain trust. Don’t let counterfeits rob your marriage of the holy passion that God has designed.

    • Rather than us taking these ideas from the world, I think the world has taken things meant for a married relationship, and perverted them. If you both have pure motivations and are only thinking of one another, then it is not worldly.

      • I wholeheartedly agree with Megan. The world has taken woman’s very appropriate response to her husband’s desires and twisted it. Jordan, if your wife can see it this way (and reading Song of Solomon and other books by Christian authors may also help), then perhaps she will be able to grow in this area.

        God bless you both for following her conscience, and not compromising convictions easily. Pray for wisdom. (1 Cor. 8:13, Rom. 14) Pray for greater faith.

    • I’d also suggest “The Good Girl’s Guide To Great Sex” by Sheila Gregoire.

  5. Oh a wonderful post, My hubby is a lingerie lover and I love putting it on for him, If I don’t please him then someone else will. It’s my job as a wife to full fill his sexual desires and if lingerie is what he likes then I’ll wear it. 🙂

  6. So great Brad! Reminds me of the reasons why Scott has always said there are no budget rules for lingerie! Haha! BUT I always need this encouragement! I always remember the great advice that I am all that Scott gets so I want to be all that he wants!!

  7. Brad if you were next to me right now I would give you a high five! The lingerie or special nightie say “take me now!” I know my wife doesn’t always see her body in the same joyous way I do so I took the time to go find her a few things that she would feel comfortable in and I would enjoy. It worked out great for both of us. Keep up the great work and take this virtual high Five (((smack))).

  8. One more message I’d say it communicates is We love the confidence. As stated in other comments, our ladies don’t necessarily see the same beauty in their own bodies that we see and enjoy. When my wife gets dressed in the morning or ready for bed at night, even though she’s right in front of me and in the middle of our room, she sort of turns and hides from me as if she is too shy. But those times when she puts on lingerie, she feels sexy and in turn she exudes confidence and radiance with a big smile. There’s no bigger turn on that that.

  9. Yes, it’s the excitement and the build up of having sex and being intimate. It’s awesome.

  10. Ya I agree it’s the build up of excitement that is awesome.. and it just looks very nice.

  11. What about the couple where the female enjoys seeing the male wear her lingerie or has his own women’s lingerie/intimate apparel. And loves to wear it!

  12. Aside from giving a good sexy look to spice things up, I agree with this… the “Please look” statement lingerie gives is like your seeking his attention and wanting him. It makes guys happy that way.

  13. Oh this is a painful post. I don’t think my husband likes me in lingerie. I’m average, not incredibly hot, not ugly, just a regular, average mom. Not overweight, just average. As we’ve been working on things, he will tell me he loves my body, but he doesn’t. We’re not intimate that often, maybe twice a week, most other nights he falls asleep really early. In the mornings he is so excited to go to work, he just gets up, gets ready and leaves, before I’m even awake. I’ve tried wearing lingerie, but it just ends up making me sad. He gets all shy, sometimes looks away and forces himself to peek. His eyes definitely do not bug out. It’s hurtful. It is clear to me that deep down he finds me repulsive, but doesn’t want to tell me. The weird thing is, when he found me putting all of my lingerie into the trash, he got upset. I wish he’d make up his mind. But no, I’m not beautiful enough to wear it, so I don’t. And I’ve never worn it to sleep in because he is always so worried “what if one of the kids comes in”. I’ve just had to accept the fact that he doesn’t feel that special way about me. Oh well.