I still remember the night several years ago when I was plopped on the couch ignoring my family when Kate lovingly challenged me that I really could be helping her out with the three million things she was doing after she got home from work. The first thought that went through my head was, “man, what are you complaining about I help out more than any of the husbands that I’m counseling.” Fortunately, before my mouth engaged I recognized the stupidity of that statement. I was mentally comparing myself against a pretty bad standard and then rewarding myself for doing more than they were.
We’ve all heard stories of deadbeat dads or abusive husbands and it is easy to think, “at least I’m better than that”. That’s great, I’m thrilled that you are better than that, but that doesn’t give you rights to brag, you should be better than that! Don’t let yourselves look down and say, “Wow, I’m better than them.”
Who do you compare to?
Men might not have the challenge of henpecking like Kate talked about in “Husband Bashing”, but I think that most of us walk around with an internal model of who we should be as a husband. Who do you compare to? The guys at work? Your dad? Husband’s you see on tv?
I hope that for you there is someone who you can compare to that is a good model. Someone that can challenge you to do better as a husband and as a father. The good news is that even if you don’t know who that person might be, we still have an excellent role model.
One Comparison to Rule the World
Ephesians 5:25 says, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her”. This is the only comparison we need. We will never fulfill this model. You can not out love Christ, but you can spend your life trying!
Who do you look up to as a husband? Give them a shout out in the comments. Have you ever found yourself comparing to a poor model like I did?