You are in the moment and you are hurt or angry. You feel justified. Perhaps you are remembering something from the past and, snap, just like that the emotions are right there as if it happened yesterday. You are caught up in those feelings and can’t seem to see a clear way out. It is real and raw. Your emotions are threatening to overwhelming you.
I have been there and just like you (to be completely honest) there were times it was crippling. It would affect me deeply and therefore affect everyone around me. So what is a wife to do when emotions hit so hard?
One of my dearest, sweetest friends shared this truth with me once: “While your feelings (emotions) are real and no one can tell you that you aren’t feeling them . . . feelings don’t always tell you the truth.”
When she shared that with me, it was one of those moments where I knew I would be forever grateful for her wisdom. It is a truth I remember often in my marriage, as well as all other relationships in my life.
Our emotions while real, don’t always tell us the truth! Can you see that my friend?
When I think back on the deep hurts of our early marriage, I am taken right back there and start feeling all those strong emotions again. Those emotions can threaten to bring up bitterness, hurt, sadness-all kinds of things if I allow it to. Yet when you remember to seek the truth not just the emotions, you can stop yourself and the pattern this thinking creates.
So how do we separate the truth from the emotions?
Stop and Catch Your Breath
Once the moment has passed, it is a great time to stop yourself, take a deep breath and reflect over the event or what led you to have all these feelings and emotions. We can’t find the truth from the lie if we continue to feel justified in our emotions. We have to be willing to stop and take a good look at the situation whether present or past.
Declare the Truth and Speak it Into Your Life
After you have calmed down and begun to think things through, you can begin to find the truth and the lies. What is the truth? What is the lie?
The truth for me is: while all of that happened, I have forgiven Brad and received forgiveness. We are not the same as we were back then. Brad loves me deeply, is devoted to me and desires me as his wife. Those are truth. Yet the lies of the enemy will do their best to remind me of my husbands flaws and mistakes. He will remind me of my mistakes as well. The enemy would like nothing more than to keep you stuck in the cycle of these thoughts because they keep you in the darkness.
What if my emotions are telling me the truth?
There will be times when your emotions are telling you the truth. When that happens I pray and ask God to calm my emotions and to guide me. It is in those times that you will need to share your heart with your hubby. He needs and wants to know what you are going through!
The more you learn to stop and decide if your emotions are telling you the truth, the easier it will become.
When have you seen this play out in your life and marriage? When have your emotions lead you down a road of lies? When have you separated out the truth and found that to be such a wonderful thing?